6 things to do when you’re losing a wayward child #parenting

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  • They may be your literal flesh and blood, but that doesn’t mean your children will embrace your values or your rules. Finding yourself challenged with a wayward child can be heart-wrenching, and often makes you second-guess not only yourself but your parenting strategies as well. If you want to get your child back, it’s important not to lose hope. You can do more than you think.
  • Don’t blame yourself

    From acting up in kindergarten to sneaking out in high school, parents have a tendency to blame their children’s behavior on themselves. But taking on that kind of guilt won’t help your child find the right path, and nor will it help you deal healthily with the situation at hand. Not only does blaming yourself make you feel bad, but it also sends your child the message that he doesn’t need to be accountable for his actions. According to Empower Parents, when a parent blames himself, “the child gets the message that he’s not responsible for his own behavior and choices-his parents are. Unfortunately, this can lead to a lifetime pattern of blaming others and refusing to take responsibility. It will always be his spouse’s fault, the boss’s fault, the police officer’s fault, or the legal system’s fault.”

  • Stick to your values

    When you’re a parent, you’re charged with the responsibility of teaching your child morals and ethics, however you view them. But when your child becomes wayward, she will challenge these values to the very core. Whether these morals come from a religious or secular place, it’s critical that you show your child consistency in what you view as acceptable and unacceptable behavior. For example, if you’ve taught your child that underage drinking is wrong, don’t try to mitigate the risks of the behavior by allowing him to drink in your presence.

  • Love unconditionally

    It goes without saying that parents love their children unconditionally, but when you’ve got a wayward child, she can definitely try those feelings. While practicing unconditional love is easier in theory than in practice, it’s important if you’re trying to lead a wayward child back to the family fold. According to Aha! Parenting, “unconditional love is like a muscle. It needs a daily workout. Compassion is the heavy lifting of life.” If you don’t feel like you’re in the habit of loving your child unconditionally, don’t worry, it’s still possible to achieve it.

  • Let them be them

    When you see your child going down an undesirable path, your first reflex might be to take control. For example, when your son begins hanging out with a less-than-reputable crowd, it might be tempting to force him into soccer or football to keep him occupied after school and help him meet new friends. Psychology Todayadvises:

    “When we do that – that is, parent our children according to our own requirements, desires, or standards of how things ‘should be’ – we often deprive them of developing a solid sense of self. We stifle their innate creativity and urges. What’s more, we may subconsciously deliver the message that they will only earn our love by being just like us.”

  • Fight with them

    Fighting with them doesn’t mean you should go around arguing, screaming or bickering at your child. The fact of the matter is, many wayward children are facing some difficult demons, whether those are substance abuse, addictions, eating disorders, bullying or abuse. Any of those issues could be making your child feel isolated and hopeless. As parents, you’ll do anything to help your child find happiness and peace, and that will likely require a fight. Your child may not have the strength to face her demons, but when you join in the fight, your whole family will be stronger for it. And it will show your child that you’re in this with them, which may help bolster their hope and motivation.

  • Invade their space

    Giving your child his space and hoping he’ll make the right decisions on his own might sound enlightened in theory, but in practice, a laissez-faire parenting approach rarely works. That’s why it’s so important to monitor your child’s behavior and correct it when it needs correcting. For example, don’t allow your wayward child carte blanche access to the internet or social media when you think she’s sending or receiving explicit posts. Monitoring your child’s behaviorisn’t an invasion of privacy. It’s your duty.

    If you want to become more involved in your child’s life, WebSafety offers an easy-to-use app that helps you keep tabs on your children’s online and cellular activity.

 

 

 

https://www.websafety.com

7 things you must do If You Find Drugs in your kids room #momlife

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Drugs in your kids room: 7 things you must do
You are looking through your kids room and run across drugs or alcohol. Disbelief, anger, sadness, there are so many emotions. What should you do?

  • So you’re cleaning your kid’s room after asking them for the seventh time to do it. While you’re doing it, you run across some type of alcohol or drug. You’re shocked at first, and then some denial comes in. Then you’re angry. Figuring out a good way to handle it can be the difference between building a stronger relationship with your child or creating an even bigger rift in your relationship with them. Here are several things to remember when you have to deal with this situation.
  • 1. You are not alone

    Every day, parents all over the world have children that are involved in drugs and alcohol. This doesn’t mean it’s OK, but it does mean you don’t have to go through this challenging, and sometimes uncomfortable, time alone. Alanon family is a great resource for parents who are in the midst of not knowing what to do.

  • 2. Have a plan

    It would be really easy to have a negative knee-jerk reaction to finding drugs or alcohol in your child’s room. There will be any number of emotions you will be feeling, and you may want to take care of the problem right then and there. Yes, this could be a crisis, and it’s not something that will be able to solve itself in the next few hours. It will be wise to have a plan of action. When will you talk? Who will you have present with you? What questions will you need to have answered? If you have these kinds of things mapped out ahead of time, your conversation can go much more smoothly as you approach your kid.

  • 3. Don’t go in angry

    It is completely understandable to be angry about this new information you have just found out about. Yet, trying to let someone know your concern about them in the midst of anger doesn’t usually work well. It especially doesn’t work well if you try to do it with a teen. They hear and feel your anger instead of the actual message. Anger is a secondary emotion. What you are really feeling is something more akin to hurt, sadness, disappointment or loss. Those are the emotions you should talk about.

  • 4. You are in charge

    To some degree, you, as the parent, should be in charge in your child’s life. The fact that you found what you found should let you clearly know that you NEED to stay in charge. Your child is off-course and you need to help him get back on course. The challenge here is if you are off-course yourself. It’s going to be much more difficult to get your child back on track. Part of the reason he could be using drugs is due to something you may or may not be doing. Self-evaluation is going to be important in this process. If you are using illegal drugs and your kid knows it, it will be very difficult for him to listen to you. Make sure you are not doing things that undermine you being in charge.

  • 5. Gather support

    You don’t have to do this alone. Since you are in charge it’s going to be important to gather support around yourself and your kid. This support can take form in a variety of ways. The most immediate way to get support is with a spouse or significant other who can help you. Together you can think of some ways to implement a new plan in the home. Gathering other family members, church members or even close friends can be useful as well. If you absolutely have no one in your vicinity to provide support, then the above link to Alanon can be a starting place to find support.

  • 6. Stay consistent

    Kids need consistency in their lives. This is no different. Once you have a plan and have gathered support you now need to stay consistent. You can’t let things get in the way of your consistency. Things unfortunately may need to be arranged in your life in order to make things work in a consistent manner.

  • 7. Love your kid

    When you had your child, there was no way you imagined she would someday use illegal substances. Instead, you had great hopes and dreams for her. At the core of your relationship with her, there was love. This love caused you to stay up nights with her when she was sick, make her favorite meals, take her to places she loved. This love is what will carry you through now. It will help you stay consistent and do the hard things when it comes to helping your child. Love is simply not an emotion, it’s also an action. You can and must love your child even in the midst of these difficult circumstances.

    The important thing to remember through this process is the value of controlled action and love. While this discovery may offer its share of pain, the end result can be one of hope, recovery and understanding.

 

Dr. David Simonsen

One year ago

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One year ago today I was feeling miserable not knowing what was wrong with me. Everything I ate, I wanted to put back out or it felt like it was stuck in my throat. I ended up like that laying on a hospital bed awaiting my doctors to begin my surgery. I was feeling miserable. I had been at that hospital for about 2 1/2 weeks just doing all kinds of tests till they finally found out what was wrong with me and decided to operate.

Turned out I had what it’s called ” Achalasia of the esophagus”  and what is that? You might be asking. That was the same question I was asking all the doctors there. ” What the heck is that?” As they started to explain to me what it was.

Achalasia is a rare disease of the muscle of the esophagus (swallowing tube). The term achalasia means “failure to relax” and refers to the inability of the lower esophageal sphincter (a ring of muscle situated between the lower esophagus and the stomach) to open and let food pass into the stomach.

What can cause the esophagus to close?
A thin area of narrowing in the lower esophagus can intermittently cause difficulty swallowing solid foods. Gastroesophageal reflux disease (GERD). Damage to esophageal tissues from stomach acid backing up into your esophagus can lead to spasm or scarring and narrowing of your lower esophagus. Eosinophilic esophagitis.
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What is the surgery for achalasia?
The most common surgical technique used to treat achalasia is called the Heller myotomy, in which the surgeon cuts the muscles at the end of the esophagus and at the top of the stomach. In the past, this surgery was performed through a large (open) incision in the chest or abdomen.
I didn’t think twice and said go ahead do it. All I knew was I was tired of living the way I was. I couldn’t handle it anymore.  So off I went to surgery.
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With all the support from my husband by my side, I was very confident I would survive another surgery, another battle, another obstacle in my life.
Not only him, but my boys too. My family has been my Rock. My everything in time of need.
I wouldn’t be able to go on without their help. I’m forever grateful.
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After my surgery when I thought things would finally be better and my life would turn around. I became depressed. Didn’t want to leave my room. My life was from my downstairs to my upstairs. I didn’t want to do anything. Not because of the way my life was or my family. I love my life and my family. But my sickness just kept on coming and never went away. This surgery was to make me feel better and nothing changed. I was angry. Angry at the doctors, at a lot of things.
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Then I decided to turn things around. I sought help ( professional )
Today I’m still very sick as far as my Achalasia, blood clotting disorder,  Fibromyalgia,etc..etc..
In between this one year, I changed my mind about being miserable and decided to live my life.
Regardless of how I feel, I will still live on. when I don’t want to get up, or do anything, I will still do it. Just because I need to do so.
I put my faith and hope in the Lord the only one who can give me my daily strength.
I’m not 100% but I try everyday to do better than I did yesterday. With God’s help I’ll slowly get to a point where I can at least cut down on medications. 🙂
Praying for a better tomorrow.
Thank you for reading.

#Review ~ The all time Best BBQ Grill Brush 3 in 1

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~~3 Brushes In 1 Design -CLEAN MORE WITH EACH PASS and prevent grill flare ups you can use it with all Grill Types, Including Porcelain, Stainless Steel and Infrared -surface for even the largest grill.

~~It’s good to clean your grill after every use  Food remnants on your grill grate are unsafe and affect the taste of food. To prevent foodborne illness and grill flare ups, and to ensure that foods attain peak flavors, the grate should be cleaned between uses. The XNValue 3-in-1 Grill Brush gives you superior reach and cleaning surface for even the largest grill, and clean more with each pass.

Fast, effective cleaning of the entire grill grate  With its 18″ reinforced handle
cleaning the grill without accidental burns was a plus.

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Bristles are made of rustproof stainless steel. Really a restaurant quality product.
The ergonomic grip withstands arduous grill-cleaning without tiring your hand. When not in use, the brush hangs adjacent to your grill by its lanyard for easy retrieval.

When you buy the Grill Brush you will receive a free pair of stainless steel food tongs for grilling and other cooking endeavors. The tongs are smaller and not nearly as useful as the brush.

Looking forward to Our B-Q summers

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• includes 1 STAINLESS STEEL FOOD SERVING TONGS for grilling and other cooking endeavors
• 6 YEAR GUARANTEE -If the brush deteriorates under normal use, simply return it to them for replacement
• extra-wide brush head with its spiral-bound bristles lets you remove grease and debris from 360 degrees of each grate wire

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( I got this for free/discounted in exchange for an honest and unbiased review )

#bbqpromotion

How long should you nap for? #Health 

  

10-20 Minutes- To boost alertness, energy, and a good way to refresh and get back to work. 

30 minutes- Never! Studies show these leave you feeling extremely groggy. 

60 minutes- To improve your fact, face, and name recognition. 

90 minutes- To improve emotional, procedural memory and creativity. Also the easiest to wake up from. 

Argan Oil Hair Mask #Review

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Argan Oil Hair Mask, 8 oz. Hair Treatment Therapy, Deep Conditioner for Damaged & Dry Hair, Heals & Restructures Hair Shaft & Growth, Detoxifies Scalp & Nourishes, Removes Products Residue Buildup (Misc.)
Received package on time
Packaged with plenty of padding
Container was properly sealed and not leaking

Argan Oil Hair Mask
I use to have the worst dry, damaged hair. I decided I wanted to try this Argain oil hair mask.
First because I hear Argan oil is super good for the hair and secondly because I had the opportunity to try it for a discounted price and give you all my honest opinion.
I was exited and happy I got the chance to do this. Like all my reviews If I don’t like something It’s going to get a one star and if I like something it will get a full rating. My honest review is what I’m here for. No matter if I got the product for free or If I paid for it.

This product Deeply conditions and hydrates your hair with Argan, Rosehip, and Coconut Oil it will heal your hair, bringing it back to life without chemicals or pricey treatments! It Undoes years of damage brought on by over-processing hair.
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The hair mask formula was specifically designed to improve your hair’s overall texture and health. Natural oils work to revive hair to its natural beauty.
You’ll see shiny, voluminous hair that’s easy to manage and full of life.
The mask contains botanical ingredients that clean away residue and buildup, nourishing the scalp and helping promote new, healthy growth.
Loaded with organic ingredients like Coconut Oil, Ginger Extract, and Rosehip Seed Oil, this mask gives your hair an abundance of Vitamins like E and B5.
They use natural ingredients to give all types of hair safe, stunning results.
They also give you a Money-Back Guarantee: Why not try something if the company stands by what they are offering you?

You don’t have to spend a fortune on treatments to restore your hair to its natural health and shine. Trust me using this Argan Oil for Hair Mask from Pure Body Naturals you will get the same result!
This do-it-yourself mask is easy to use and offers unbelievable results. This is why I recommend it.

It deeply condition the hair and scalp with essential vitamins and nutrients, the mask nourishes the hair and protects it from further damage.
I got Stronger, luscious hair that’s silky smooth and easy to manage. Not to mention the great smell. It did work for my hair.
Directions
Apply a generous amount to towel-dried clean shampooed damp hair. Use your hands and fingers to evenly distribute through hair, beginning at scalp to hair ends and leave for 5 to 15 minutes and then rinse. Use 1 to 2 times weekly.

Benefits of using this mask

REPAIRS DAMAGED HAIR:
SOFT AND SILKY MANE:
CLEANS AND SOOTHES SCALP:
SUPERIOR SPA QUALITY:

I have received this product at a discount in exchange for an honest and unbiased review.