One year ago

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One year ago today I was feeling miserable not knowing what was wrong with me. Everything I ate, I wanted to put back out or it felt like it was stuck in my throat. I ended up like that laying on a hospital bed awaiting my doctors to begin my surgery. I was feeling miserable. I had been at that hospital for about 2 1/2 weeks just doing all kinds of tests till they finally found out what was wrong with me and decided to operate.

Turned out I had what it’s called ” Achalasia of the esophagus”  and what is that? You might be asking. That was the same question I was asking all the doctors there. ” What the heck is that?” As they started to explain to me what it was.

Achalasia is a rare disease of the muscle of the esophagus (swallowing tube). The term achalasia means “failure to relax” and refers to the inability of the lower esophageal sphincter (a ring of muscle situated between the lower esophagus and the stomach) to open and let food pass into the stomach.

What can cause the esophagus to close?
A thin area of narrowing in the lower esophagus can intermittently cause difficulty swallowing solid foods. Gastroesophageal reflux disease (GERD). Damage to esophageal tissues from stomach acid backing up into your esophagus can lead to spasm or scarring and narrowing of your lower esophagus. Eosinophilic esophagitis.
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What is the surgery for achalasia?
The most common surgical technique used to treat achalasia is called the Heller myotomy, in which the surgeon cuts the muscles at the end of the esophagus and at the top of the stomach. In the past, this surgery was performed through a large (open) incision in the chest or abdomen.
I didn’t think twice and said go ahead do it. All I knew was I was tired of living the way I was. I couldn’t handle it anymore.  So off I went to surgery.
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With all the support from my husband by my side, I was very confident I would survive another surgery, another battle, another obstacle in my life.
Not only him, but my boys too. My family has been my Rock. My everything in time of need.
I wouldn’t be able to go on without their help. I’m forever grateful.
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After my surgery when I thought things would finally be better and my life would turn around. I became depressed. Didn’t want to leave my room. My life was from my downstairs to my upstairs. I didn’t want to do anything. Not because of the way my life was or my family. I love my life and my family. But my sickness just kept on coming and never went away. This surgery was to make me feel better and nothing changed. I was angry. Angry at the doctors, at a lot of things.
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Then I decided to turn things around. I sought help ( professional )
Today I’m still very sick as far as my Achalasia, blood clotting disorder,  Fibromyalgia,etc..etc..
In between this one year, I changed my mind about being miserable and decided to live my life.
Regardless of how I feel, I will still live on. when I don’t want to get up, or do anything, I will still do it. Just because I need to do so.
I put my faith and hope in the Lord the only one who can give me my daily strength.
I’m not 100% but I try everyday to do better than I did yesterday. With God’s help I’ll slowly get to a point where I can at least cut down on medications. 🙂
Praying for a better tomorrow.
Thank you for reading.
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