All parents make mistakes and they try to fix it. This doesn’t mean they are less of a parent. What most of them feel is regret about something they did or did not do and it’s too late to turn back. Don’t suffer because of it. If you look back at your life, you will see that your parents made a few slip-ups as well and not so you will love them less or never forgive them. However, there are some things I wish I knew when my children were small. Hope this helps new parents not to make the same mistakes I did. Here are four things I wanted to know when my children were small:
1. They grow too fast Look at your children. Look at all the moments. Register what you can. They grow up so fast that soon you feel homesick for a baby. How many times I was using the computer late at night instead of putting them to bed, or telling a story, and praying with them. I was doing these things whenever possible, but I lost many nights without doing so. It’s not too late to change your behavior. I don’t remember exactly what I was doing on the computer, what kind of work or surfing on social networks, but I remember perfectly their happy eyes when I would say good night with many kisses and hugs. When I prayed with them and told a story. There is no money or fun in the world to compensate these sweet moments. Tip: Don’t be the only one telling the story, let them tell it as well.
2. Pay attention to what you promise Let’s have a picnic every day … We can go to the movies on Friday … Next week we can go to the zoo. Plans, promises that will break. Time will pass by and now they no longer feel welcome in these family programs and will not take advantage of them as they would as children. Create this kind of memories with your kids is something they will carry for life. I wish my parents took me for picnics. I would have done more of these activities with my kids and their grandparents.
3. They need loving limits A child does not know how far you can go if you do not circumscribe the border between what is allowed and what is forbidden for them to do. I never understood this principle until a few weeks ago in letting my children free to explore their own world and find their own answers. It was not a very happy moment. When I read that limits gave security to the child I imagined that they would feel like monkeys in a cage. But it is not so. Children like to know if they are pleasing or displeasing their parents. If you do not know what parents expect they will feel confused and unsure of what to do or not do. Set limits with love it’s the best way to raise a child.
4. They need the example I think one of the major functions of a parent is to be an example for their children. As the saying goes: “When there are no words, the example follows and it starts in the cradle.. What kind of children you want to have? Educated? Gentle? Who likes to read? Religious? Respectful? Responsible? For sure we want our children to have such qualities and the best way to teach them is cultivating these qualities in ourselves. Many parents punish their children for lying, but when the mother calls, send the child to say that she is not available. We want our children, to be honest, but we don’t return the change when received wrong. They want responsible children, but we do not keep up on our promises. It’s not easy being parents, everyone knows it. Important and valuable thing are not easy to achieve. So despite our mistakes, we are the best person we can be and we need to learn from our mistakes before it is too late. And as a bonus, here’s another tip: Smile at your children and make their day better with this simple gesture.
There are many ways to be good parents. There is no formula or proven and guaranteed way to success in raising small. But regrets, yes.
Thinking Out Cloud 