WHEN HYPOCHRISY DISCOURAGES HIGH MORAL VALUES #momblogger

How many people in social networks do not preach through their posts, ideas completely contrary to their daily behavior? Many people talk about solidarity, but they refuse to provide any kind of help. Many people claim to value character and intelligence, but only relate to physically wonderful people. Many speak passionately about God and the importance of serving people, but they live in their small groups of friends, shutting themselves out for all other people who differ a thousandfold from their lifestyle, judging and hurting without mercy or pity.

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Who has never been hypocritical at least once in their life who please throw the first stone. Yes, it seems to be part of human nature to hide your real intentions and feelings to better fit into social life. Who has never pretended not to have some sort of prejudice so as not to be judged by the social group? Who has never omitted a personality trait or a socially unheard of habit to keep a job, a friendship, a love relationship?

Yes, sometimes people act in a hypocritical way, that is, by contradicting their way of life, their way of thinking, their belief system and values to defend themselves against judgments, social ostracism and other punishments. What really seems to me problematic is when a person uses moral values to destroy or try to destroy someone’s image out of sheer jealousy or totally petty personal interests.

Omitting, for example, smoking in a politically correct group is simply a defense. Not admitting homosexuals in an environment marked by homophobia is also a means of protecting oneself. Avoiding opinions on religious themes in groups that border on fundamentalism is also a strategy to avoid unnecessary wear and tear. In short, the person stops expressing himself, fails to tell what he really is or thinks not to destabilize his own life.

But going back to the case of people who take advantage of morals to harm those who obfuscate them socially is a very serious question and deserves a deep reflection. Is it at any point in our lives, out of envy, out of greed, to defend personal interests, not to disturb a person’s life, do we not deeply hurt someone?

How many people do not socially isolate colleagues, for example, because they are more fun, more talented, more promising in their careers? How often do we avoid certain social contacts simply because these people somehow stand out more than we? How many times do we go hunting for defects to justify a free antipathy we feel? Instead of admitting that we dislike each other gratuitously, for no apparent reason, we prefer to seek a concrete reason to justify our hostile behavior.

How many people in social networks do not preach through their posts, ideas completely contrary to their daily behavior? Many people talk about solidarity, but they refuse to provide any kind of help. Many people claim to value character and intelligence, but only relate to physically wonderful people. Many speak about the law of return, but they judge and discriminate people simply because they are different from them, as if they were an ideal of character. Many speak passionately of God and the importance of serving people, but they live in their small groups of friends, shutting themselves down to all the other people who differ a thousandfold from their way of life.

How many people do not pass themselves off as friends, but strives to sabotage the love relationship of the members of your group because deep down they want their friends just for themselves? Because they themselves cannot live a happy relationship, they need their friends always available. How many bosses do not cut the wings of very competent professionals, who in the future can stay in their place? How many people refuse invitations to develop professional projects with certain contacts because they know less creative, less expressive, less interesting?

Yes, hypocrisy often puts us in a comfort zone. In some cases, we omit attitudes and opinions simply so as not to be dismissed, criticized, ironically, socially isolated. But in many others, we could avoid certain attitudes that only reiterate our inability to accept the merit of the other.

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TRANSLATED  FROM ORIGINAL PUBLISHED BY SÍLVIA MARQUES

6 things to do when you’re losing a wayward child #parenting

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  • They may be your literal flesh and blood, but that doesn’t mean your children will embrace your values or your rules. Finding yourself challenged with a wayward child can be heart-wrenching, and often makes you second-guess not only yourself but your parenting strategies as well. If you want to get your child back, it’s important not to lose hope. You can do more than you think.
  • Don’t blame yourself

    From acting up in kindergarten to sneaking out in high school, parents have a tendency to blame their children’s behavior on themselves. But taking on that kind of guilt won’t help your child find the right path, and nor will it help you deal healthily with the situation at hand. Not only does blaming yourself make you feel bad, but it also sends your child the message that he doesn’t need to be accountable for his actions. According to Empower Parents, when a parent blames himself, “the child gets the message that he’s not responsible for his own behavior and choices-his parents are. Unfortunately, this can lead to a lifetime pattern of blaming others and refusing to take responsibility. It will always be his spouse’s fault, the boss’s fault, the police officer’s fault, or the legal system’s fault.”

  • Stick to your values

    When you’re a parent, you’re charged with the responsibility of teaching your child morals and ethics, however you view them. But when your child becomes wayward, she will challenge these values to the very core. Whether these morals come from a religious or secular place, it’s critical that you show your child consistency in what you view as acceptable and unacceptable behavior. For example, if you’ve taught your child that underage drinking is wrong, don’t try to mitigate the risks of the behavior by allowing him to drink in your presence.

  • Love unconditionally

    It goes without saying that parents love their children unconditionally, but when you’ve got a wayward child, she can definitely try those feelings. While practicing unconditional love is easier in theory than in practice, it’s important if you’re trying to lead a wayward child back to the family fold. According to Aha! Parenting, “unconditional love is like a muscle. It needs a daily workout. Compassion is the heavy lifting of life.” If you don’t feel like you’re in the habit of loving your child unconditionally, don’t worry, it’s still possible to achieve it.

  • Let them be them

    When you see your child going down an undesirable path, your first reflex might be to take control. For example, when your son begins hanging out with a less-than-reputable crowd, it might be tempting to force him into soccer or football to keep him occupied after school and help him meet new friends. Psychology Todayadvises:

    “When we do that – that is, parent our children according to our own requirements, desires, or standards of how things ‘should be’ – we often deprive them of developing a solid sense of self. We stifle their innate creativity and urges. What’s more, we may subconsciously deliver the message that they will only earn our love by being just like us.”

  • Fight with them

    Fighting with them doesn’t mean you should go around arguing, screaming or bickering at your child. The fact of the matter is, many wayward children are facing some difficult demons, whether those are substance abuse, addictions, eating disorders, bullying or abuse. Any of those issues could be making your child feel isolated and hopeless. As parents, you’ll do anything to help your child find happiness and peace, and that will likely require a fight. Your child may not have the strength to face her demons, but when you join in the fight, your whole family will be stronger for it. And it will show your child that you’re in this with them, which may help bolster their hope and motivation.

  • Invade their space

    Giving your child his space and hoping he’ll make the right decisions on his own might sound enlightened in theory, but in practice, a laissez-faire parenting approach rarely works. That’s why it’s so important to monitor your child’s behavior and correct it when it needs correcting. For example, don’t allow your wayward child carte blanche access to the internet or social media when you think she’s sending or receiving explicit posts. Monitoring your child’s behaviorisn’t an invasion of privacy. It’s your duty.

    If you want to become more involved in your child’s life, WebSafety offers an easy-to-use app that helps you keep tabs on your children’s online and cellular activity.

 

 

 

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7 things you must do If You Find Drugs in your kids room #momlife

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Drugs in your kids room: 7 things you must do
You are looking through your kids room and run across drugs or alcohol. Disbelief, anger, sadness, there are so many emotions. What should you do?

  • So you’re cleaning your kid’s room after asking them for the seventh time to do it. While you’re doing it, you run across some type of alcohol or drug. You’re shocked at first, and then some denial comes in. Then you’re angry. Figuring out a good way to handle it can be the difference between building a stronger relationship with your child or creating an even bigger rift in your relationship with them. Here are several things to remember when you have to deal with this situation.
  • 1. You are not alone

    Every day, parents all over the world have children that are involved in drugs and alcohol. This doesn’t mean it’s OK, but it does mean you don’t have to go through this challenging, and sometimes uncomfortable, time alone. Alanon family is a great resource for parents who are in the midst of not knowing what to do.

  • 2. Have a plan

    It would be really easy to have a negative knee-jerk reaction to finding drugs or alcohol in your child’s room. There will be any number of emotions you will be feeling, and you may want to take care of the problem right then and there. Yes, this could be a crisis, and it’s not something that will be able to solve itself in the next few hours. It will be wise to have a plan of action. When will you talk? Who will you have present with you? What questions will you need to have answered? If you have these kinds of things mapped out ahead of time, your conversation can go much more smoothly as you approach your kid.

  • 3. Don’t go in angry

    It is completely understandable to be angry about this new information you have just found out about. Yet, trying to let someone know your concern about them in the midst of anger doesn’t usually work well. It especially doesn’t work well if you try to do it with a teen. They hear and feel your anger instead of the actual message. Anger is a secondary emotion. What you are really feeling is something more akin to hurt, sadness, disappointment or loss. Those are the emotions you should talk about.

  • 4. You are in charge

    To some degree, you, as the parent, should be in charge in your child’s life. The fact that you found what you found should let you clearly know that you NEED to stay in charge. Your child is off-course and you need to help him get back on course. The challenge here is if you are off-course yourself. It’s going to be much more difficult to get your child back on track. Part of the reason he could be using drugs is due to something you may or may not be doing. Self-evaluation is going to be important in this process. If you are using illegal drugs and your kid knows it, it will be very difficult for him to listen to you. Make sure you are not doing things that undermine you being in charge.

  • 5. Gather support

    You don’t have to do this alone. Since you are in charge it’s going to be important to gather support around yourself and your kid. This support can take form in a variety of ways. The most immediate way to get support is with a spouse or significant other who can help you. Together you can think of some ways to implement a new plan in the home. Gathering other family members, church members or even close friends can be useful as well. If you absolutely have no one in your vicinity to provide support, then the above link to Alanon can be a starting place to find support.

  • 6. Stay consistent

    Kids need consistency in their lives. This is no different. Once you have a plan and have gathered support you now need to stay consistent. You can’t let things get in the way of your consistency. Things unfortunately may need to be arranged in your life in order to make things work in a consistent manner.

  • 7. Love your kid

    When you had your child, there was no way you imagined she would someday use illegal substances. Instead, you had great hopes and dreams for her. At the core of your relationship with her, there was love. This love caused you to stay up nights with her when she was sick, make her favorite meals, take her to places she loved. This love is what will carry you through now. It will help you stay consistent and do the hard things when it comes to helping your child. Love is simply not an emotion, it’s also an action. You can and must love your child even in the midst of these difficult circumstances.

    The important thing to remember through this process is the value of controlled action and love. While this discovery may offer its share of pain, the end result can be one of hope, recovery and understanding.

 

Dr. David Simonsen

Pray Without Quitting

A 365 Days Challenge Day #5

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Pray Without Quitting

Does it seem your prayers have gone unanswered? Never give up. Find new ways to pray, and discover new ways to see your circumstances.

This requires a combination of teachability and persistence. If your prayers are answered in a way different than you expect, ask God what He wants to teach you through the experience. Ask Him again and again to show you what you need to know. Do you need to ask for something different? Do you need to wait longer for an answer? Listen and watch for God’s answers. If you are willing to listen and watch for God’s answers. If you are willing to learn, He is happy to teach. if you have patience, you’ll find His timing is perfect. Meanwhile, keep on asking.
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Persistence forges strength of character that comes from refusing to quit, even when the path isn’t easy. By persisting, you join Him in His determination to make things right. Pray without quitting.

Heavenly Father, the things I want to persist in asking for are…

I want to be more persist in asking for patience. God knows I need it, more than I realize it. I need to pray without quitting and learn from whatever God gives me for an answer.
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” God as Father-In-Law “

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It came almost as a warning, and frankly, I needed one at the time. I was a young husband, and during an intense time of prayer, I sensed God telling me very directly that Lisa wasn’t just my wife, but she was also His daughter and I was to treat her accordingly.

This was a moment of revelation for me, and the force of this insight grew once I had kids of my own. If you want to get on my good side, just be good to one of my kids.

Conversely, if you really want to make me angry, pick on my kids. Be mean to them. My blood pressure will go up if your name is even mentioned because I’d much rather you mess with me and with one of my kids.

So when I realized I was married to God’s daughter—and that you, women, were married to God’s sons—everything about how I viewed marriage changed. God feels about my wife—His daughter—in an even holier and more passionate way than I feel about my own daughters. Suddenly, my marriage was no longer about just me and one other person; it was very much a relationship with a passionately interested third partner. I realized one of my primary forms of worship throughout the rest of my life would be honoring God by taking care of a woman who would always be, in His divine mind, “His little girl.”

We often hear pastors contemplate the fatherhood of God, a wonderful and true doctrine. But if you want to change your marriage, extend this analogy and spend some time meditating about God as Father-in-Law. Because when you marry a believer, He is!

1 John 3-1
Galatians 3:26-29

* Have you ever thought of your spouse as the son/daughter of God? How does this change your relationship (both actions and attitudes) with him/her?

( Book Breath Spiritual Passion into your marriage )