7 things you must do If You Find Drugs in your kids room #momlife

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Drugs in your kids room: 7 things you must do
You are looking through your kids room and run across drugs or alcohol. Disbelief, anger, sadness, there are so many emotions. What should you do?

  • So you’re cleaning your kid’s room after asking them for the seventh time to do it. While you’re doing it, you run across some type of alcohol or drug. You’re shocked at first, and then some denial comes in. Then you’re angry. Figuring out a good way to handle it can be the difference between building a stronger relationship with your child or creating an even bigger rift in your relationship with them. Here are several things to remember when you have to deal with this situation.
  • 1. You are not alone

    Every day, parents all over the world have children that are involved in drugs and alcohol. This doesn’t mean it’s OK, but it does mean you don’t have to go through this challenging, and sometimes uncomfortable, time alone. Alanon family is a great resource for parents who are in the midst of not knowing what to do.

  • 2. Have a plan

    It would be really easy to have a negative knee-jerk reaction to finding drugs or alcohol in your child’s room. There will be any number of emotions you will be feeling, and you may want to take care of the problem right then and there. Yes, this could be a crisis, and it’s not something that will be able to solve itself in the next few hours. It will be wise to have a plan of action. When will you talk? Who will you have present with you? What questions will you need to have answered? If you have these kinds of things mapped out ahead of time, your conversation can go much more smoothly as you approach your kid.

  • 3. Don’t go in angry

    It is completely understandable to be angry about this new information you have just found out about. Yet, trying to let someone know your concern about them in the midst of anger doesn’t usually work well. It especially doesn’t work well if you try to do it with a teen. They hear and feel your anger instead of the actual message. Anger is a secondary emotion. What you are really feeling is something more akin to hurt, sadness, disappointment or loss. Those are the emotions you should talk about.

  • 4. You are in charge

    To some degree, you, as the parent, should be in charge in your child’s life. The fact that you found what you found should let you clearly know that you NEED to stay in charge. Your child is off-course and you need to help him get back on course. The challenge here is if you are off-course yourself. It’s going to be much more difficult to get your child back on track. Part of the reason he could be using drugs is due to something you may or may not be doing. Self-evaluation is going to be important in this process. If you are using illegal drugs and your kid knows it, it will be very difficult for him to listen to you. Make sure you are not doing things that undermine you being in charge.

  • 5. Gather support

    You don’t have to do this alone. Since you are in charge it’s going to be important to gather support around yourself and your kid. This support can take form in a variety of ways. The most immediate way to get support is with a spouse or significant other who can help you. Together you can think of some ways to implement a new plan in the home. Gathering other family members, church members or even close friends can be useful as well. If you absolutely have no one in your vicinity to provide support, then the above link to Alanon can be a starting place to find support.

  • 6. Stay consistent

    Kids need consistency in their lives. This is no different. Once you have a plan and have gathered support you now need to stay consistent. You can’t let things get in the way of your consistency. Things unfortunately may need to be arranged in your life in order to make things work in a consistent manner.

  • 7. Love your kid

    When you had your child, there was no way you imagined she would someday use illegal substances. Instead, you had great hopes and dreams for her. At the core of your relationship with her, there was love. This love caused you to stay up nights with her when she was sick, make her favorite meals, take her to places she loved. This love is what will carry you through now. It will help you stay consistent and do the hard things when it comes to helping your child. Love is simply not an emotion, it’s also an action. You can and must love your child even in the midst of these difficult circumstances.

    The important thing to remember through this process is the value of controlled action and love. While this discovery may offer its share of pain, the end result can be one of hope, recovery and understanding.

 

Dr. David Simonsen

We adapt, we accept, but we never get over it!

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Today I grief the death of another childhood friend that passed this morning due to one of the most tragic cause of death this nation and generation has been facing. Something that’s been destroying our generation, drug overdose. This epidemic that you don’t see it’s a problem till it’s too late. Leaving us all with just the memory we all shared with her including her two beautiful children, E & D I know you guys will miss your mom forever. Her mom (G) Nothing will ever take this pain away. I hope God will comfort you. Comfort us all 😦 .
My heart is filled with sadness. We had so many talks and you told me so many times you could fight this. I know it was hard, I know you tried. May your soul now Rest In Peace. I will forever miss you. Miss the days we spent together since 5th grade. All those times at your house when your mom and your sister had to make us lunch after school. We had so much fun. After we grew up going out to eat and hanging out. It was always a pleasant time to be around you. Karaoke  night at the Chinese place all of us together was a night to remember. I will never forget. 😦

Lindsay’s death was a tragedy, it really has been a tragic waste, and like the bitter pill that’s hard to swallow, it leaves an awful after taste. So I hope this message gets home, and her death hasn’t been in vain, because I’d hate anybody else, to have to go through all this, all again. You only get one chance on this earth, and I hope that line stays in someone’s mind, because the very real tragedy, is what happens to those that get left behind.

In Memory

We have all lost someone that we love today 

One that we all wish

was never taken from us this way

But God thought it was their time to leave

Ans now this is the moment 

For us their friends and family to grieve

We keep asking ourselves why 

Why do the good die young?

Why don’t we ever get a warning 

To when our day will come?

We were all just having birthdays and having so much fun

Tell us why you had to take them 

I mean our lives have just begun

It hurts so much to think

That they are no longer here 

When we keep seeing their face 

Through each falling tear 

Now knowing that their memory will never disappear

Although we keep pleading that this tragic ordeal 

Is anything but real

We are demanding the pain we feel

Of our hearts breaking and tearing from the seams

To somehow just be one heart rendering bad dream

Though as we awaken and realize it is not

We can remember the good times we had with them 

And forget about the times we all fought

There for please cherish all the memories

And never forget their laugh

Because we all have a piece of them within us

And that is how the love they had 

For everyone will forever last

We hope that you knew 

How many people truly cared about you

And that in your passing you have taught us

That we should always stand tall

And that we have to try to make the best of it all

Hopefully, through this tragedy, we all will wake up & see

That life can be short and taken from us so easily

You all truly will be missed by so many

We are grateful for knowing you 

And lucky to have been part of your lives

We know that Heaven’s gates

Have been opened up for you

The Angel’s have given you your wings

So that you all may watch over us

And push us so we may strive to do better things

A poem by Elizabeth Mooney

This song is in your memory… Every time I hear it it will remind me of you 😦
You will forever be missed. Love always Your Friend.