Drugs in your kids room: 7 things you must do
You are looking through your kids room and run across drugs or alcohol. Disbelief, anger, sadness, there are so many emotions. What should you do?
- So you’re cleaning your kid’s room after asking them for the seventh time to do it. While you’re doing it, you run across some type of alcohol or drug. You’re shocked at first, and then some denial comes in. Then you’re angry. Figuring out a good way to handle it can be the difference between building a stronger relationship with your child or creating an even bigger rift in your relationship with them. Here are several things to remember when you have to deal with this situation.
1. You are not alone
Every day, parents all over the world have children that are involved in drugs and alcohol. This doesn’t mean it’s OK, but it does mean you don’t have to go through this challenging, and sometimes uncomfortable, time alone. Alanon family is a great resource for parents who are in the midst of not knowing what to do.
2. Have a plan
It would be really easy to have a negative knee-jerk reaction to finding drugs or alcohol in your child’s room. There will be any number of emotions you will be feeling, and you may want to take care of the problem right then and there. Yes, this could be a crisis, and it’s not something that will be able to solve itself in the next few hours. It will be wise to have a plan of action. When will you talk? Who will you have present with you? What questions will you need to have answered? If you have these kinds of things mapped out ahead of time, your conversation can go much more smoothly as you approach your kid.
3. Don’t go in angry
It is completely understandable to be angry about this new information you have just found out about. Yet, trying to let someone know your concern about them in the midst of anger doesn’t usually work well. It especially doesn’t work well if you try to do it with a teen. They hear and feel your anger instead of the actual message. Anger is a secondary emotion. What you are really feeling is something more akin to hurt, sadness, disappointment or loss. Those are the emotions you should talk about.
4. You are in charge
To some degree, you, as the parent, should be in charge in your child’s life. The fact that you found what you found should let you clearly know that you NEED to stay in charge. Your child is off-course and you need to help him get back on course. The challenge here is if you are off-course yourself. It’s going to be much more difficult to get your child back on track. Part of the reason he could be using drugs is due to something you may or may not be doing. Self-evaluation is going to be important in this process. If you are using illegal drugs and your kid knows it, it will be very difficult for him to listen to you. Make sure you are not doing things that undermine you being in charge.
5. Gather support
You don’t have to do this alone. Since you are in charge it’s going to be important to gather support around yourself and your kid. This support can take form in a variety of ways. The most immediate way to get support is with a spouse or significant other who can help you. Together you can think of some ways to implement a new plan in the home. Gathering other family members, church members or even close friends can be useful as well. If you absolutely have no one in your vicinity to provide support, then the above link to Alanon can be a starting place to find support.
6. Stay consistent
Kids need consistency in their lives. This is no different. Once you have a plan and have gathered support you now need to stay consistent. You can’t let things get in the way of your consistency. Things unfortunately may need to be arranged in your life in order to make things work in a consistent manner.
7. Love your kid
When you had your child, there was no way you imagined she would someday use illegal substances. Instead, you had great hopes and dreams for her. At the core of your relationship with her, there was love. This love caused you to stay up nights with her when she was sick, make her favorite meals, take her to places she loved. This love is what will carry you through now. It will help you stay consistent and do the hard things when it comes to helping your child. Love is simply not an emotion, it’s also an action. You can and must love your child even in the midst of these difficult circumstances.
The important thing to remember through this process is the value of controlled action and love. While this discovery may offer its share of pain, the end result can be one of hope, recovery and understanding.
Dr. David Simonsen
Today is the day back in 1997 when God decided to Bless me with a baby boy. When I held him for the first time I was overwhelmed with great joy. I remember the day I went into labor I was working and my boss kept on telling me to go to the hospital and all I could think about was to first finish my job then go to the hospital. LOL
When I got there to my surprise no matter how bad in pain I was. I still got sent home about 4x hahaha
I was in labor for 36 hours before they decided to give me that damn Epidural. But it was all worth it at the end. Along the way, for 19 years we had some good times. A lot of good memories like ” Jesus pai de meu pai, pai de minha mãe. ” or ” olha vo sou igual uma baleia ” or ” that tree falling in Whitman ” and many many more. We also have bad memories that are not worth typing, but we all know what they are. But that doesn’t mean for a second that we are not proud of you. You have become a man a person that many wish they could be like. You bring joy into our lives and I’m so glad you are my son. I, not for a second regret that I had you. As a matter of fact, I’m a better person because I had you. No matter what mistake you made or will make you will forever be my baby boy. You and your brothers are my everything. I have lived for you 3 always remember that. ve seen too many tragedies and I love you too much to see your head that way. ❤️️ Happy Birthday !!! I love you always.
FIRST DAY OF COLLEGE
I miss the days when you would just crawl into my arms and my hugs and kisses were all you seemed to need….. I can only hope that we have taught you the most important lessons about life….ethics, morality….if not in words then at least through our actions and deeds.
You will have temptation from every direction, and will need to have the guts to know what is right and not just follow the ‘pack’! If you still have any doubt on how to proceed…..REMEMBER…now that you are 18, you will always be tried as an adult!
There is always someone smarter than you, dumber than you, more confused than you, more secure, less confident, more sensitive, less reserved….and even more dysfunctional! Enjoy the benefits of meeting some, and show compassion for the others. Roles may be reversed next week!
In these upcoming years, don’t be afraid to roll up your sleeves and work hard for what you want! You have never shied away from hard work…..don’t start now! Believe in yourself and never be afraid to say what you really think or feel. You will be facing adversity……make sure you get up when you are kicked down, holding your head high! Continue to be the loving, caring son/friend I know you to be. Compassion is everything in life!
You have been so focused on who and what you want to be since you were 5 years of age. With the endless possibilities in front of you, don’t be afraid if your goals take a couple of twists and turns. This is only natural and expected. You are surrounded by our love and support.
I am so proud to be your Mom. You are a true gift from God and one of my greatest accomplishments. I cannot wait to see what your future holds, the possibilities are endless.
I Love you ❤
What if? What if? Have you ever dealt with the what-ifs? Entertaining the what-ifs in your life is the first step to being overtaken with worry. Worry is taking responsibility for things you were never intended to handle. Worry is a lack of trust in the Creator of the universe. Worry says that you can handle it when many times you simply cannot. Are you worried that you worry too much? You don’t defeat worry by worrying about it. You defeat worry by redirecting your concerns to Someone who can actually do something about your situation. It does not mean that you do not take responsibility for the things you are supposed to handle; it just means that you know when you stop and God begins. Worried you don’t know enough about it? Check out what the Bible says!
10 cancer symptoms that most people ignore
Are you ignoring these warnings your body is giving you?
- Medicine has developed fantastically in recent years, finding new drugs that help with the control of various diseases that once haunted, and even killed.
But despite medical advancement, prevention is key to maintaining our health and fighting diseases early.
Good use of medicine is another important factor. Misuse of it can also cause harmful symptoms.
Cancer, a disease that scares many people, has a greater chance of cure when treated early. It stops being so scary when we periodically take preventive tests.
We must carefully watch every day, as different symptoms may indicate that something is not quite right, and there is need for medical help.
Because cancer can attack various parts of the body, it is crucial to pay attention to our bodies. Below are 10 cancer warning signs.
1. Frequent cough
Frequent coughing can simply be a sign of allergies — but when the cough is very persistent you may want to consider seeking the opinion of a specialist. Even non- smokers can develop throat, larynx and lung cancer. Therese Bartholomew Bevers, MD of the MD Anderson Cancer Center, said that “Most coughs are not cancer, but a persistent cough needs to be evaluated because it can be a symptom of lung cancer.”
2. Weight loss without dieting
Though losing weight is the dream of many women, without dieting it can be the indicator of a disease. Look out for sudden weight gain as well.
3. Frequent pain in the joints
Joint pain is one of the symptoms of bone cancer, whether it is frequent or not. Getting headaches does not mean you have a brain tumor, but it’s always nice to closely evaluate them. Many ovarian cancers are diagnosed after persistent abdominal pain. And lung cancer can be spotted from chest pains.
4. Fatigue without apparent cause
Being overly tired for no apparent reason can be a sign of the blood cancer Leukemia. Being aware of changes like this in your body can save your life.
When jaundice, the yellowing of skin most commonly seen in babies, appears in adults, it may be a sign of liver problems, including cancer.
6. Dark spots and freckles that change color and size
It is never a bad idea to have freckles and moles checked periodically. Also, all new dark spots on the skin should be examined. Skin cancer can be detected precisely from these spots.
7. Eye pain that persists
Pain in the eye, a symptom of eye cancer, can easily be mistaken as a result of being tired. If pain persists, consult a doctor immediately.
8. Discharges with or without blood
Discharges of different color and odor should also be investigated. Vaginal bleeding outside the menstrual period may indicate cervical cancer. Check in with your gynecologist at least once a year.
Hoarseness can be started by the swelling of the vocal cords caused by a more serious problem, and could be a cancer indicator.
10. Diarrhea and bleeding
A diseased intestine can cause bowel changes.
Do not be terrified every time you notice any symptoms, such as those mentioned above. Remember that many of these things are also common symptoms of other illnesses and things we encounter on a daily basis. However, if any of these symptoms persists longer than normal, it is always smart to check it out. It could save your life.
This article is a translation and adaption of the original article “10 sintomas de câncer que a maioria das pessoas ignora”
2 cups milk and 1/2
3/4 cup oil
1 tablespoon baking powder
2 cups flour
3 tablespoons grated cheese
500 g of sausage ( or meat of choice )
200g mozzarella cheese
1 can tomato sauce
Blend together all the dough ingredients
In a large bowl place the half of the dough and then put the sausage, tomato sauce, mozzarella and cover with the remaining dough
Sprinkle over the grated cheese and oregano Bake for about 30 minutes or until stick with a fork and comes out clean
Serve it hot