Temporary Home

March 10, 2015November 29, 2022 EllyFilhoLeave a comment

Temporary Home

Little boy, six years old
A little too used to being alone
Another new mom and dad
Another school, another house that will never be home
When people ask him how he likes this place
He looks up and says with a smile upon his face.

This is my temporary home, It’s not where I belong
Windows and rooms that I’m passing through
This is just a stop on the way to where I’m going
I’m not afraid because I know
This is my temporary home.

Young mom, on her own
She needs a little help, got nowhere to go
She’s looking for a job, looking for a way out
‘Cause a halfway house will never be a home
At night she whispers to her baby girl
“Someday we’ll find our place here in this world”

This is our temporary home, It’s not where we belong
Windows and rooms that we’re passing through
This is just a stop on the way to where we’re going
I’m not afraid because I know
This is our temporary home

Old man, hospital bed
The room is filled with people he loves
And he whispers
“Don’t cry for me, I’ll see you all someday”
He looks up and says
” I can see God’s face”

this is my temporary home, it’s not where I belong
Windows and rooms that I’m passing through
This was just a stop on the way to where I’m going
I’m not afraid because I know
This was my temporary home.

This is our temporary home.

By-Unknown Author

From One Who Was Cut And Pierced For You; He understands!

February 21, 2015October 18, 2018 EllyFilhoLeave a comment

Suicide among young people is on the rise. According to the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), suicide is now the third leading cause of death for youth between ages 10 and 24. Some states even report it as the leading cause of death in this age group. “It results in approximately 4,600 lives lost each year. The top three methods used in suicides of young people include firearm (45%), suffocation (40%), and poisoning (8%). ” Deaths resulting from suicide are only part of the problem. The CDC states, “More young people survive suicide attempts than actually die. A nationwide survey of youth in grades 9–12 in public and private schools in the United States found that 16 percent of students reported seriously considering suicide, 13 percent reported creating a plan, and 8 percent reported trying to take their own life in the 12 months preceding the survey.”

It’s obvious that suicide is becoming a serious problem with our youth.

The telltale signs

There are usually warning signs that let you know when your teen is struggling emotionally — the kinds of struggles that lead to suicidal thoughts.

Depression. This is not simply a child having a bad day and feeling down. All children have those from time to time. This is about a child feeling depressed day after day — a feeling of hopelessness. You can’t seem to cheer him or her up.
Other suicides. When a fellow student commits suicide, it puts the thought into the minds of others.
Too much stress. Kids are under a lot of pressure in school and far too many pressures at home.
Involved in drug and alcohol abuse. When these abusive behaviors are present, likelihood of suicide increases.
Bullied at school or on social media. We hear continually about bullied kids being so hurt and ashamed that they finally can’t deal with the hurt anymore.

When these factors are involved, it doesn’t mean your child will commit suicide. It just means you need to pay attention, improve your relationship with your child or consider getting some professional help.

What parents can do

These reports are daunting, and parents may wonder what is to be done to stem this tide. No parent wants his child to die — and most certainly not by suicide. Here’s the good news. There are specific ways parents play a vital role in helping prevent their children from committing or attempting suicide. The following are the most powerful things a parent can do.

Create a strong family environment

This is done several different ways:

Eat meals together as a family at least five times a week. This creates a safe place where family members can talk about what’s going on in their lives, laugh and share their concerns.
Play together. Do fun things. Board games, ball games, bowling, picnics, camping — anything fun and wholesome that brings the family together.
Visit relatives. Grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins bring a great deal of support and love into a child’s life. Make this happen for your family.
It’s reassuring to know that parents, siblings and loved ones care about you. This happens from continual association with each other in the home — in a congenial atmosphere. This doesn’t mean there won’t be arguing at times. That’s normal. It just means you keep the family activities going, regardless. Remember to tell your kids you love them. That matters. They need to hear it often.

Attend religious services

In a recent article, Greg Hudnall, a suicide prevention trainer, says of the youth, “[R]eligion helps them feel a connectedness, and that connectedness is very powerful.” This same article reports that “the students who reported high levels of religious participation — attending services one time per week or more — were half as likely to have contemplated suicide.”

Hudnall goes on to say, “One thing parents and religious communities can do is help youths deal with disappointment, psychological stress and failure.”

Keep a close eye on your child’s behavior and demeanor. To prevent suicidal thoughts, be diligent in involving your child in family activities and religious experiences. These two traditions have proven to be highly effective in curtailing suicide. If suicidal signs persist, seek professional help. It’s a fact that some suicides will happen even if parents do all they can to be there for their children. When this happens, parents who know they did what they could to save their children can, at least, find a measure of peace.

Together, Gary and Joy Lundberg author books on relationships. For more from the Lundbergs on improving communication, see “I Don’t Have to Make Everything All Better.”

via Protecting your child from the expanding risk of suicide.

Now this article called my attention. Not only because I’ve been suffering from the depression, anxiety, and PTSD symptoms and having a difficult time these past couple of years of my life more than others. But because I read in a group yesterday, on a board a mother crying out for help because her daughter is a cutter. The daughter just told her about it and she didn’t know what to do. Her husband didn’t understand and wanted to keep quiet about it just between them. (Normal .. Some people are embarrassed ) not something easy to deal with specially if your family is a family that a lot of people look at as a good, healthy family. For an example; My husband is a Pastor and I’m the messed up wife lol. Is how I see it (OOops Joke about it ). Am I embarrassed? I was at the beginning for a long time, but not anymore. and you might ask me. Why not anymore? Well, I’m the one that needs the help, and I’m the one that knows if I don’t get it, or look for the help now things can get worse and than what? Will being embarrassed help me than? So that’s what I did. Regardless of what people might think or will think of me or my family I’m getting the help I need. I don’t care what others think of me or my family. I’m doing this for us. Not for them. So I think it’s very important for You as parents to talk to your kids and be aware of whats going on with them and not just your kids but your spouse as well. Give them the help they need. Trust me as I say this. If your TEEN comes to you and tells you ” Mom or Dad I’m a cutter I need help.” They NEED help, and YOU will NOT be able to provide that HELP they are seeking unless you have the structure to do it all alone and most of us don’t. GET PROFESSIONAL HELP. If you could provide that help they wouldn’t be doing what they are doing in the first place. They would just come and talk to you and solve the problem. They cut to feel relieve, to release the pain, to feel alive. Depression is not something you can wake up one day and say ” Oh it’s all gone. ” Please use the helpful links and seek help.

🙂 Hugs to all 🙂

For Women

Crisis HelpLine

PTSD

Causes · Depressed · Family Share · love · Lyrics · Mental Health · photography · Wordless

{ Just Keep Breathing }

February 15, 2015November 16, 2022 EllyFilho1 Comment

The 1st Time I heard this song I was facing a tough battle in my life, a battle I don’t wish upon my worst enemy. As I listened to this song, I cried, for many nights. I was in such bad shape all I wanted to do is disappear. I wanted to scream for help, but I couldn’t. It was a choice I didn’t have. I would say ” Oh GOD how I need you now… Don’t you see me? can’t you feel the pain I’m going through? Why is this happening to me? To my marriage? I just couldn’t understand. At one point I was so tired of holding on and I wanted to give up. That’s when I felt the hands of God holding me up. Like he has done many times. Never letting me go. My tears still drip sore but I’m feeling better… So Today I wanted to share this song with you guys hope you like it… Let me know what you think 🙂

“Need You Now (How Many Times)”

Well, everybody’s got a story to tell
And everybody’s got a wound to be healed
I want to believe there’s beauty here
‘Cause oh, I get so tired of holding on
I can’t let go, I can’t move on
I want to believe there’s meaning here

How many times have you heard me cry out
“God please take this”?
How many times have you given me the strength to
Just keep breathing?
Oh, I need you
God, I need you now.

Standing on a road I didn’t plan
Wondering how I got to where I am
I’m trying to hear that still small voice
I’m trying to hear above the noise

How many times have you heard me cry out
“God please take this”?
How many times have you given me the strength to
Just keep breathing?
Oh, I need you
God, I need you now.

Though I walk,
Though I walk through the shadows
And I, I am so afraid
Please stay, please stay right beside me
With every single step, I take

How many times have you heard me cry out?
And how many times have you given me strength?

How many times have you heard me cry out
“God please take this”?
How many times have you given me the strength to
Just keep breathing?
Oh, I need you
God, I need you now.

I need you now
Oh, I need you
God, I need you now.
I need you now
I need you now

Causes · Depressed · Family Share · Health · Mental Health

I’m Not Afraid __{Anymore}

February 12, 2015November 16, 2022 EllyFilho2 Comments

What you see on the outside is not always what’s on the inside. A lot of us don’t even know what or how we really feel until we crash, and that’s how I felt about a month ago. I’ve had many ups and downs in my life since I was a child, like many people. We all have something to complain about, some more than others. I had some bad tragedy happen to me as a young girl and as I became older. I held everything that wasn’t exposed inside of me for many years actually for too long. I’m not embarrassed or ashamed to say, that I need help, I looked for help, and I got it (been getting help).
Am I healed? Absolutely not. I still have a very long way to go, but I have good faith in God I will get better.

Being in this situation got me too depressed and having anxiety, panic attacks, plus all the other health issues I have doesn’t help. Holding in all my emotions and sadness, not sharing with anyone what I was feeling made me many times want not to live anymore. The only thing that kept me going strong was my family. The fact I have 3 kids and a husband that I love so much made me make the choice I wanted to be alive for them.

I had to be hospitalized for eight days because my INR not being stabled and having a blood clotting disorder that is very dangerous. I was also having a lot of pain in my lower abdomen. Pain that I still have till this lovely day by the way. As I was there at the Stewart Hospital this awesome doctor was talking to me and he actually got it out of me that I was feeling depressed and that I needed more help. He also looked at my records. Something that will follow you for life is your record. Those records had some history of attempts in there from when I was 11,13,16,18, records that suck to have but those things do have consequences on me today. So that doctor talked to me about going into this hospital to get help for my mental issues. I decided to go. I know another thing to follow my record but, I have a lot of things to work on and this was going to be good for me. So, I had to give it a try. I didn’t know what it was going to be like didn’t know what to expect. On my way there in the ambulance, all I could think about was, ” God Please Help Me.” I needed to do this to get rid of the monsters that haunted me. I was in such bad shape I couldn’t shower without the thought of hurting a person that I recently got into an argument with. Not only that but the monster from my past haunted me daily made me scared and made me think horrible things about myself. A lot of people are ashamed to admit they have a problem, but not me. I always knew I had a problem but never thought I needed help. Now I made the decision to get the help I need.

St. Elizabeth Medical Center Seton 5

1st day I got there I got checked in, and all my things – laptop, iPhone, journal, bag, wallet, and everything else possible of using for harm got taken away. They took my vitals and blood work. I got my room and I stayed there for the night sleeping. I wanted nothing to do with anything or anyone. Never slept so much like that day. They had to wake me up at one point because my husband was on the phone, I told him I was fine, and right back to sleep I went.

2nd day – I got up early, don’t remember the time all I know is that I stayed in that room till they announced breakfast was there. I went to get it, and it was nothing I wanted to eat. (When I arrived, I filled a menu IDK why they didn’t bring what I asked) So all I had from that tray was the coffee, cream, and sugar, but even that tasted horrible. I tried to step out of my room for a bit and as I stood by my door this girl was sitting next to the door on a table that was there, she was all alone, a young girl I was afraid to start talking to her because she looked like she was 16, and I’m this old lady didn’t want her to feel uncomfortable. So, I asked her if I could put my cup down on the table, you know a lot of people don’t like others invading their space and she was all nice about it and said ” yes “. I started to make small conversation with her. I’ll keep her name private, and I’ll call her “J” for this post, and if she ever reads this you know who you are :). After that day at that table, I can say J you became a great part of my recovery. Talking to you every day and having you there just to color next to me 🙂 and having a conversation made a big difference. Thank You Girl for being a friend when I needed one. I miss you… (oh by the way “J” is not 16 LOL she’s in her 20’s) …..That same day I got a roommate, and it was this older woman (in her 60’s) the night she came in I was awake all night (as a matter of fact I was awake for most of the 6 days I was there) and she was so mad she had a roommate It was very funny.

The next morning Day #3 I was talking to “J” I told her about the roommate, and we laughed. After breakfast around group time, I met my roommate “D” She turned out to be this lovely lady, and my heart melted for her. 😦 We all started to attend groups and talk and hang around the T.V rooms like we were best friends LOL. We helped each other out and together we kept going day by day. The last thing you want to do is go into a place like this and lock yourself out and shut down and don’t let others in. Big mistake. Because becoming friends with them is what helps you most.

Now that you guys know about the people/Friends there and how nice it was to meet them let’s talk about the program. When I got there it was nothing like I was hoping for. I’ll explain. I had in mind this place where I was going to have groups, speak to doctors daily, and see a psychiatrist every day, but no nothing like that. I met my nurse 2x a day for my meds anything I asked her about my medication or problem she would say I had to wait to see a doctor. I had groups 5 times a day. The doctor saw me on my 2nd day there for 5 minutes changed all my medications and added more to my list, without knowing me or my history. In groups, you talk to staff and mates which were great. Once you get to know all the staff you know which ones are the good ones and the ones that are there just for the $$. There was 3-4 staff there named James lol, all cool, nice people who actually cared about doing their jobs and treating patients with respect. Yes, they are there for the money, but they know how to treat the people that are there and respect their condition. There’s this one staff there I wish I remembered his name because I would name him here, he would go around talking to all the female nurses about all the patient’s problems and why they were there, now you tell me. Is that even professional? He was a miserable person and over time he was there it made me feel more depressed than I already was. It was horrible.

Other than those little complaints Seton 5 is a very good place. I didn’t think it would help me at all and it did it made a difference in my life. When I got there, I was feeling so horrible, and my mind was filled with Hate and driving me crazy with all the horrible thoughts. Now I can work on them better and focus on my recovery.

I recommend the hospital to anyone willing to get help. I’m very Thankful I made that decision. I have no regrets. From now on I have to keep working on getting better. 🙂

It takes time to get cured if you ever do.
But you can make a choice to live miserably or try to move on.

Today, I will remember that there is a powerful force motivated by writing down goals. I will do that now, as needed. I will do it not to control but to do my part in living my life.