6 things to do when you’re losing a wayward child #parenting

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  • They may be your literal flesh and blood, but that doesn’t mean your children will embrace your values or your rules. Finding yourself challenged with a wayward child can be heart-wrenching, and often makes you second-guess not only yourself but your parenting strategies as well. If you want to get your child back, it’s important not to lose hope. You can do more than you think.
  • Don’t blame yourself

    From acting up in kindergarten to sneaking out in high school, parents have a tendency to blame their children’s behavior on themselves. But taking on that kind of guilt won’t help your child find the right path, and nor will it help you deal healthily with the situation at hand. Not only does blaming yourself make you feel bad, but it also sends your child the message that he doesn’t need to be accountable for his actions. According to Empower Parents, when a parent blames himself, “the child gets the message that he’s not responsible for his own behavior and choices-his parents are. Unfortunately, this can lead to a lifetime pattern of blaming others and refusing to take responsibility. It will always be his spouse’s fault, the boss’s fault, the police officer’s fault, or the legal system’s fault.”

  • Stick to your values

    When you’re a parent, you’re charged with the responsibility of teaching your child morals and ethics, however you view them. But when your child becomes wayward, she will challenge these values to the very core. Whether these morals come from a religious or secular place, it’s critical that you show your child consistency in what you view as acceptable and unacceptable behavior. For example, if you’ve taught your child that underage drinking is wrong, don’t try to mitigate the risks of the behavior by allowing him to drink in your presence.

  • Love unconditionally

    It goes without saying that parents love their children unconditionally, but when you’ve got a wayward child, she can definitely try those feelings. While practicing unconditional love is easier in theory than in practice, it’s important if you’re trying to lead a wayward child back to the family fold. According to Aha! Parenting, “unconditional love is like a muscle. It needs a daily workout. Compassion is the heavy lifting of life.” If you don’t feel like you’re in the habit of loving your child unconditionally, don’t worry, it’s still possible to achieve it.

  • Let them be them

    When you see your child going down an undesirable path, your first reflex might be to take control. For example, when your son begins hanging out with a less-than-reputable crowd, it might be tempting to force him into soccer or football to keep him occupied after school and help him meet new friends. Psychology Todayadvises:

    “When we do that – that is, parent our children according to our own requirements, desires, or standards of how things ‘should be’ – we often deprive them of developing a solid sense of self. We stifle their innate creativity and urges. What’s more, we may subconsciously deliver the message that they will only earn our love by being just like us.”

  • Fight with them

    Fighting with them doesn’t mean you should go around arguing, screaming or bickering at your child. The fact of the matter is, many wayward children are facing some difficult demons, whether those are substance abuse, addictions, eating disorders, bullying or abuse. Any of those issues could be making your child feel isolated and hopeless. As parents, you’ll do anything to help your child find happiness and peace, and that will likely require a fight. Your child may not have the strength to face her demons, but when you join in the fight, your whole family will be stronger for it. And it will show your child that you’re in this with them, which may help bolster their hope and motivation.

  • Invade their space

    Giving your child his space and hoping he’ll make the right decisions on his own might sound enlightened in theory, but in practice, a laissez-faire parenting approach rarely works. That’s why it’s so important to monitor your child’s behavior and correct it when it needs correcting. For example, don’t allow your wayward child carte blanche access to the internet or social media when you think she’s sending or receiving explicit posts. Monitoring your child’s behaviorisn’t an invasion of privacy. It’s your duty.

    If you want to become more involved in your child’s life, WebSafety offers an easy-to-use app that helps you keep tabs on your children’s online and cellular activity.

 

 

 

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Start building your trust #SundayDevotion

Start building your trust in God day by day!

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Form New Habits

Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new.
2 Corinthians 5:17

God’s Word teaches us that when we receive Christ as our Savior and Lord, He gives us a new nature. He gives us His nature. He also gives us a spirit of discipline and self-control, which is vital in allowing us to choose the ways of our new nature. He gives us a sound mind (see 2 Timothy 1:7), and that means we can think about things properly without being controlled by emotion. The way we once were passes away, and we have all the equipment we need for a brand-new way of behaving. God gives us the ability and offers to help us, but we are not puppets and God will not manipulate us. We must choose spirit over flesh and right over wrong. Our renewed spirits will then control our souls and bodies or, to say it another way, the inner person will control the outer person.

Without God’s help we have difficulty doing things in moderation. We frequently eat too much, spend too much money, have too much entertainment, and talk too much. We are excessive in our actions because we behave emotionally. And after the thing is done and cannot be undone, we regret doing it. But we can choose to form new habits, not doing something just because we feel like it, but instead doing what will produce the best result in the end.

We do not have to live in regret. God gives us His Spirit to enable us to make right and wise choices. He urges us, guides and leads us, but we still have to cast the deciding vote. If you have been casting the wrong vote, all you need to do is change your vote. Forming new habits will require making a decision to not do what you feel like doing unless it agrees with God’s will.

Trust in Him
God wants you to live out of your new nature, not your old one. Every time you put your trust in Him and cast the deciding vote to obey, His Spirit transforms you and makes you more like Him.

From the book Trusting God Day by Day by Joyce Meyer. Copyright © 2012 by Joyce Meyer. 

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Unfinished Business

Unfinished Business

Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.

It was a nostalgic time when we drove away the last time from our home of 24 years. We left behind a lot of memories in the walls – and a couple in the tree in the far corner of the backyard. See, when the kids were little, we wanted to build them a tree house. So we made a plan, got some lumber, and started our little project. We laid down a couple of boards between two branches; it was the beginning of a floor for the tree house. Then we took a break. And we never went back. Oh, yes, we intended to finish that house, but right up until the day we moved out, those boards were all that ever happened.

That’s not the only house a parent intended to build and never got done. In fact, many of us Moms and Dads knew how we wanted our family to be – how we still want it to be – but somehow the home, the family we intended to build never got finished did it? Even as our children were leaving for college, we talked about how quickly the years had melted away and how we were feeling there was so much unfinished business in our kids’ lives.

Maybe you’re a Mom or Dad, and you can see in your relationship with your children a lot of things you wish you had done, or a lot of things you wish you hadn’t done. Like us with our tree house…the intentions were good, but something happened along the way. Your children may still be fairly young, still at home, but already you have regrets about what has or hasn’t happened in your relationship – in their lives.

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But it isn’t over yet. In fact, the Bible offers a blueprint for hope and for healing. If you can find the courage to activate this powerful step, you may still be able to take care of some of that unfinished business. God says in James 5:16, “Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective.”

Let’s apply this to a broken or strained or a hurting family relationship – a part of your home that never got finished. God is calling you to fervent prayer for that person that’s on your heart. And He is calling us to “confess our sins to each other”, too. In the case of your son or daughter, that probably means saying some of the hardest words in the English language for a parent to say, “I was wrong. Please forgive me.”

For someone you love, just your recognition that you were wrong could start a healing process in both of you. Tell them you’re sorry for any way you feel you have failed them; that you want the future to be different from the past; give them the “I love you” that they may have been waiting for a long time. Give them your blessing, your approval, your praise. They may have been starved for it for years. It’s never too late to say, “I love you.” It’s never too late to say, “I’m sorry.” It’s never too late to say, “Let’s make a new beginning.”

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Oh, it will take some humility, because it’s pride that keeps walls from coming down. It will take God’s courage, but it could heal so much in you and so much in that person you love. But the home, the family, the relationship you never finished can still be built if you can say three life-changing, life-giving words,

“I was wrong.”

Further Study

1 John 1:9

If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.

Going Deeper

Someone I need to say, “I was wrong” to is…
One way I failed my family is…
Something I can do to resolve the conflict in my family is…

Thank You Ron Hutchcraft for the study 🙂 Resources: The Bible, images from pixabay.com

Protecting Your #Child from • Soul Poison •  #Parenting 

Protecting Your Child from “Soul Poison”
There are some decent, even values-oriented things on television for children these days. But, as you know very well, there’s a lot of garbage, too. And in between those two extremes, there are shows that are mostly good but have some words scattered in them that little ears shouldn’t be hearing – or big ears, for that matter. Along comes a service called TV Guardian – which automatically replaces a naughty word with a nice word, thus removing what could be bad for your child. Occasionally, the replacements are actually a little amusing. Like the word “sex,” for example. The replacement word is “hugs.” Which gets a little interesting when someone asks, “So what will be the hugs of your baby?” But I do think TV Guardian is a pretty good idea.

Something like TV Guardian was invented for parents who realize a very important assignment that they have; to protect their children from anything that could harm them. Of course, a parent is going to protect their son or daughter from physical harm – like getting too close to the edge of a cliff or running onto the Interstate. But Mom and Dad have no less a responsibility for protecting their kids from things that can hurt their soul. And there’s a lot of soul poison out there.

There is a ten-word challenge that underscores where the front lines of the battle are for any life – including that of your children. Proverbs 4:23 begins with these attention-getting words, “Above all else…” Then these ten words – “Guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.” In other words,be careful about what gets into your heart – or into your child’s heart – because it is the reservoir from which everything else flows. Tweet: be careful about what gets into your heart - or into your child's heart - because it is the reservoir from which everything else flows.

Yes, one front in the battle for a child’s pure heart is related to what they listen to and watch. It’s amazing how we will allow someone to portray right in our living room, on TV, DVD, or Netflix, things we would never, ever allow to be done in our living room – sexually, for example. We allow comedy into our home and into their heart that trivializes sin that ruins lives; not realizing that our kids are learning to laugh about things that are eternally serious. No matter what the parental peer pressure of what other parents are allowing and what the culture says is “must see” stuff, we’ve got to stand our ground on not allowing our kids to mentally eat out of the garbage can.

 
But guarding their heart is so much bigger than TV or movies or music. It’s about the poison that comes from us. The bitterness they’re learning by listening to us, the anger, the self-centeredness, the putdowns of other people, the names they hear us call people, the prejudice they hear in the way we talk about others, the disrespect they hear us expressing toward people at work, at church – or even toward their Mother or Father. That’s more deadly poison than anything the media can pump out. Our precious children need “Parent Guardian” – to protect them from the poison that they see modeled in living color by a Mom or Dad.

The DVR in your son’s or daughter’s heart is always recording. It’s always capturing what it hears, and the impressions are shaping who they’re becoming. You are the guardian, assigned to your child by God, to protect that young heart from poison and infection – even if (especially if) it’s coming from you.

Going Deeper

One undesirable trait I see in my child that reminds me of myself is…

One thing I could do to help them and me grow in that area is…

“Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.”

Proverbs‬ ‭4:23‬ ‭NIV‬‬ Tweet: “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” Proverbs‬ ‭4:23‬ ‭NIV‬‬ - Via- @4Guys_1Girl

“I will sing of your love and justice; to you, Lord, I will sing praise. I will be careful to lead a blameless life— when will you come to me? I will conduct the affairs of my house with a blameless heart. I will not look with approval on anything that is vile. I hate what faithless people do; I will have no part in it. The perverse of heart shall be far from me; I will have nothing to do with what is evil. Whoever slanders their neighbor in secret, I will put to silence; whoever has haughty eyes and a proud heart, I will not tolerate. My eyes will be on the faithful in the land, that they may dwell with me; the one whose walk is blameless will minister to me. No one who practices deceit will dwell in my house; no one who speaks falsely will stand in my presence. Every morning I will put to silence all the wicked in the land; I will cut off every evildoer from the city of the Lord.”

‭‭Psalm‬ ‭101:1-8‬ ‭NIV‬‬

Study by Ron Hutchcraft

The things I learned in life – #MomBlogger

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The things I learned in life

I learned that no matter how much I care, some people just do not care. I learned that no matter how good a person is, that person will hurt me from time to time, but I need to forgive her for this. I learned that talking can ease my emotional pain.

I learned that it takes years to build trust and only seconds to destroy it.
I’ve learned that true friendship continues to grow, even over long distances. I learned that I can do in moments, things that I will forever regret.

I learned that what matters is not what I have in life, but who I have in life. I learned that members of my family are friends who I was not allowed to choose. I learned that I don’t have to change friends, and, yes, understand that friends change.

I learned that the people I care most in life have been taken too quickly. I learned that I always leave people who I love with loving words, it may be the last time I see them. I learned that the circumstances and the environment have an influence on me, but I am responsible for myself.

I learned that I should not compare myself to others, but do the best I can do. I learned that no matter how far I get, know where I’m going. I learned that no matter how delicate and fragile something is, there are always two sides.

I learned that It will take a long time for me to become the person I want to be. I learned that I can go further after thinking I can not. I learned that either I control my acts or they will control me.

I’ve learned that heroes are people who did what was necessary, facing the consequences. I learned that to have patience requires a lot of practice. I learned that there are people who love me, but just do not know how to show it.

I have learned that my best friend and I can do many thing, or nothing and still have a good times together. I learned that the person I expect to treat me wrong, when I’m down, is one of the few that will help me up. I learned that there are more of my parents in me than I thought.

I learned that when I’m angry I have the right to be angry, but that does not give me the right to be cruel. I learned that just because someone does not love me the way I want it does not mean that someone doesn’t love me with everything they got. I learned that maturity has more to do with the kinds of experiences I’ve had, and what I learned from them Than how many birthdays I already celebrated.

I learned that I should never tell a child that dreams are silly, or they are out of the question, because fewer things are more humiliating and would be a tragedy if she believed me. I learned it is not always enough to be forgiven by someone, I have to learn to forgive myself. I learned that no matter how many pieces my heart was broken, the world doesn’t stop for me to fix it.

Just learned, the things I learned in life!

Who was ? Ana ” The Prophet   ” ? 

 
Anna, the daughter of Penuel, was eighty-four years of age and long widowed. Apparently she was a member of the resident staff at the temple in Jerusalem, devoting herself to continual service in the temple. The text does not indicate why she was called a “prophet.” Her unnamed husband might have been a prophet, or perhaps she herself had spent time praising and bearing testimony or even foretelling future events under divine inspiration. In simplest terms, she obviously was a woman through whom God spoke. As a descendant of the tribe of Asher, Anna looked for the Messiah as the prophets Isaiah (Isa 9:6) and Micah (Mic 5:2) had foretold.

When Mary and Joseph brought the baby Jesus to the temple to present him to the Lord approximately a month after his birth, they offered their sacrifices according to ancient law. He had been circumcised on the eighth day, probably in Bethlehem. Now the days of Mary’s purification were completed (see Lev 12:4). As they were in the temple, a devout man, Simeon, was moved by the Holy Spirit to be present and to hold the Infant in his arms.

Anna watched as Simeon prayed, knowing in her heart that the Messiah had come. Luke’s description of this woman helps the reader to understand the respect and veneration that she commanded. A lifetime of prayer and fasting made her comments worth reporting. She, a recognized prophetess, confirmed God’s gift of redemption and her words resonated with all who looked for salvation (Lk 2:38).
Anna personified in her day those who “serve the living and true God, and . . . wait for his Son from heaven” (1Th 1:9–10). She is a model for us; like her, women are to “live self-controlled, upright and godly lives in this present age, while we wait for that blessed hope—the appearing of the glory of our great God and Savior, Jesus Christ” (Titus 2:12–13).

Daily Devotional.