Tag: parents

Depressed · family · kids · love · mom · motherhood · reeding · World VS Life

4 things to never tell a mother who has lost a child

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You probably mean well when you are trying to comfort a grieving mother, but you can end up hurting her even more.

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  • Losing a child is one of the worst pains a mother can ever experience. In the middle of grief, many friends and family members try to help and offer comfort, but sometimes well-meaning people say things that end up really hurting. Provide real comfort by being sensitive and loving in this terrible time. Here are four things to never say to a mother who has lost a child, and some suggestions of things you can say instead that might be more helpful.

  • 1. You can have another child

    Just because a mother can have another child – or already has other children still alive – doesn’t mean that the pain ever goes away. Every child is unique and that loss is deeply felt. That particular child can’t ever be replaced, no matter how many other children there are in the family.

    Try saying this instead: Can I help you care for your other children? I want to help in any way I can.

  • 2. Everything will be okay

    This generalized statement isn’t helpful, and it undermines the importance of the mother’s feelings. This statement says that you don’t really care about present pain because you think the pain will go away in the future.

    Try saying this instead: What is something healing I can do for you today?

  • 3. Time heals all wounds

    This grieving mother shares her thoughts from her blog about that phrase: “To an extent PART of this is true, but it doesn’t ever help to hear, and it’s not a typical wound that eventually heals up completely…Please don’t use this one on us. It isn’t at all helpful, just cliché.”

    Try saying this instead: I’m glad your child got to spend some time on Earth with your family. What were some of your favorite moments with him/her?

     

  • 4. Just have faith

    When a tragic event happens, such as losing a child, the mother’s faith is already being tested. Saying “just have faith” is very simple to say but is very hard to do. Phrasing a trial so casually does not leave room for you or the mother to develop a deeper relationship with God through this time of tested faith. Faith is a personal matter, and it’s not something for you to interfere with.

    Try saying this instead: I’d like to pray for you. What are some specific things you would like me to pray for?

    By avoiding these four things and stepping in with loving and helpful phrases, you can prevent further heartache for the grieving mother. During times like this, love and support are most needed – not more sadness.

Article by Hannah Chudleigh
Anxiety · Causes · Depressed · family · Family Share · fatherhood · Health · kids · love · Mental Health · mom · motherhood · reeding · sunday devotion · teens · World VS Life

6 things to do when you’re losing a wayward child #parenting

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  • They may be your literal flesh and blood, but that doesn’t mean your children will embrace your values or your rules. Finding yourself challenged with a wayward child can be heart-wrenching, and often makes you second-guess not only yourself but your parenting strategies as well. If you want to get your child back, it’s important not to lose hope. You can do more than you think.

  • Don’t blame yourself

    From acting up in kindergarten to sneaking out in high school, parents have a tendency to blame their children’s behavior on themselves. But taking on that kind of guilt won’t help your child find the right path, and nor will it help you deal healthily with the situation at hand. Not only does blaming yourself make you feel bad, but it also sends your child the message that he doesn’t need to be accountable for his actions. According to Empower Parents, when a parent blames himself, “the child gets the message that he’s not responsible for his own behavior and choices-his parents are. Unfortunately, this can lead to a lifetime pattern of blaming others and refusing to take responsibility. It will always be his spouse’s fault, the boss’s fault, the police officer’s fault, or the legal system’s fault.”

  • Stick to your values

    When you’re a parent, you’re charged with the responsibility of teaching your child morals and ethics, however you view them. But when your child becomes wayward, she will challenge these values to the very core. Whether these morals come from a religious or secular place, it’s critical that you show your child consistency in what you view as acceptable and unacceptable behavior. For example, if you’ve taught your child that underage drinking is wrong, don’t try to mitigate the risks of the behavior by allowing him to drink in your presence.

  • Love unconditionally

    It goes without saying that parents love their children unconditionally, but when you’ve got a wayward child, she can definitely try those feelings. While practicing unconditional love is easier in theory than in practice, it’s important if you’re trying to lead a wayward child back to the family fold. According to Aha! Parenting, “unconditional love is like a muscle. It needs a daily workout. Compassion is the heavy lifting of life.” If you don’t feel like you’re in the habit of loving your child unconditionally, don’t worry, it’s still possible to achieve it.

  • Let them be them

    When you see your child going down an undesirable path, your first reflex might be to take control. For example, when your son begins hanging out with a less-than-reputable crowd, it might be tempting to force him into soccer or football to keep him occupied after school and help him meet new friends. Psychology Todayadvises:

    “When we do that – that is, parent our children according to our own requirements, desires, or standards of how things ‘should be’ – we often deprive them of developing a solid sense of self. We stifle their innate creativity and urges. What’s more, we may subconsciously deliver the message that they will only earn our love by being just like us.”

  • Fight with them

    Fighting with them doesn’t mean you should go around arguing, screaming or bickering at your child. The fact of the matter is, many wayward children are facing some difficult demons, whether those are substance abuse, addictions, eating disorders, bullying or abuse. Any of those issues could be making your child feel isolated and hopeless. As parents, you’ll do anything to help your child find happiness and peace, and that will likely require a fight. Your child may not have the strength to face her demons, but when you join in the fight, your whole family will be stronger for it. And it will show your child that you’re in this with them, which may help bolster their hope and motivation.

  • Invade their space

    Giving your child his space and hoping he’ll make the right decisions on his own might sound enlightened in theory, but in practice, a laissez-faire parenting approach rarely works. That’s why it’s so important to monitor your child’s behavior and correct it when it needs correcting. For example, don’t allow your wayward child carte blanche access to the internet or social media when you think she’s sending or receiving explicit posts. Monitoring your child’s behaviorisn’t an invasion of privacy. It’s your duty.

    If you want to become more involved in your child’s life, WebSafety offers an easy-to-use app that helps you keep tabs on your children’s online and cellular activity.

 

 

 

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10 things parents need to know about their highly sensitive child

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10 things parents need to know about their highly sensitive child
Having a highly sensitive child can be a trying, confusing time. But these 10 insights into your sensitive child’s life can make the challenge a little easier to tackle.

High sensitivity (also known as sensory processing sensitivity) is a personality trait seen in about 20 percent of adults; and needless to say, all adults start out as kids. Your sensitive kid is very likely a typical kid, but one who needs some special attention and care.

Common characteristics of a Highly Sensitive Child (HSC) include being:

Highly emotional
Sensitive to tastes and smells
Sensitive to physical touch
Sensitive to fabrics and/or cuts of clothing
Sensitive to irritants (highly reactive to chemicals, dyes, additives, stings, bites, scratches, etc.)
Sensitive to light and sound (especially fluorescent lights, and loud and very quiet noises)
Affected greatly by the feelings of others (especially negative feelings)
To understand your Highly Sensitive Child’s (HSC) feelings and needs, consider these 10 realities of your child’s life:
1. Your HSC feels everything more intensely

So frustration sounds like screaming, screaming feels like a slap, and a slap feels like a punch. Everything, especially negative things, are felt more intensely and will leave a lasting impression on your HSC. Your HSC may cower and withdraw from you long after an incident if they feel threatened by something you barely remember.

2. Your HSC can appear emotionally unstable or imbalanced

He may simply switch from one end of the emotional spectrum to another. He can go from highly excitable, to the point of hyper, to extremely upset and crying in an instant. Whatever he feels he feels deeply, in that moment.

3. Be conscious of how you behave toward and in front of your HSC

He will take things personally and internalize his treatment. Punishment needs to be adjusted to fit your child individually, and used to teach and correct him rather than inflict suffering.

4. Your HSC is susceptible to psychological problems like depression and anxiety

Being sensitive means your child is likely to get negative feedback from his family and peers and be criticized for his sensitivity, then feel that negative interaction deeply. Likewise, growing up in an abusive or neglectful environment leads to problems at a higher rate in these children than their peers.

5. Your HSC is highly susceptible to stress related issues and illnesses

Headaches, stomach aches, digestion issues, and more are just some of these illnesses. Constant stimulation and agitation is bad for the body, so these kids often need more medical attention.

6. Your HSC needs to be protected from bullying at all costs!

Bullying is difficult for any kid, but can be detrimental to the development of your sensitive child. Make sure he gets the TLC he needs and leave no room for bullying in his world.

7. Your HSC lives in the moment

When things are bad, the world is bad. When things are good, nothing else matters. So try to keep his world happy and positive as much as you can.

8. Your HSC needs to be heard and understood

So when he speaks, listen. If he feels ignored, he will internalize this to mean he is not valued, worthless, and his feelings don’t matter.

9. Never tell your HSC to stop being sensitive

You are asking him to change his fundamental makeup, and reinforcing his feelings of being different, unvalued and worthless. You are telling him who he is, is not okay. You can, however, encourage resilience at a pace he is comfortable with.

10. Seek help for your HSC if you feel like you can’t handle things on your own

Now recognized as fairly common, kids and adults with high sensitivity are more susceptible to subtle stimuli but process and use it normally. Unlike sensory processing sensitivity, sensory processingdisorder is much less common and the causes incorrect identification and response to normal stimuli. Your child may have either or both the sensitivity and the disorder. But in any case, your kid will need special care and attention, and a lot of understanding.

Although it can cause great challenges in the lives of those it affects, and even more around them, sensory-processing sensitivity is not a disorder; it’s who your child is. And sensitive kids are awesome kids.

 

Georgia D. Lee seeks to empower, inspire, enrich and educate anyone with an open mind, heart and spirit through her most treasured medium – black and white!
Website: http://authorgeorgiadlee.weebly.com www.familyshare.com
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List of top 5 things you didn’t know

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Just for Fun 🙂

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iPhone 6s Plus Screen Protector @SpigenWorld #ReviewsWithElly

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 iPhone 6s Plus Screen Protector, Spigen® (3 PACK) iPhone 6 Plus / 6s Plus [3D Touch Compatible- Tempered Glass] Most Durable [Easy-Install Wings] Glass Screen Protector [Life Warranty] – SGP11786 (Wireless Phone Accessory)
The iPhone 6s plus screen protector from spigen is perfect. I really mean this when I say perfect. I’ve tried many screen protectors and they all failed right from the start.
When I received it in the mail it came in a secure package. The item in the box is a total of three protectors, cleaning cloth and wet wipes for cleaning the phone before you add the protector on.
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I loved it right away because it’s easy to use with comprehensive instructions, and it looked really clean and smudge free. It leaves no bubbles and that was the best part. It’s also all that it says on the description.
The price for the pack is $22.99 and it’s worth the money. I did drop the phone face down a week after I installed the protector and all that happened was a little small crack on the protector nothing to my actual phone. I would buy this again when I need to.
( I received this product as a discount/free for my unbiased opinion )
*** Reviews With Elly ***
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Photo courtesy Michelle W.

book · Devotion · family · sunday devotion

Start building your trust #SundayDevotion

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Start building your trust in God day by day!

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Form New Habits

Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new.
2 Corinthians 5:17

God’s Word teaches us that when we receive Christ as our Savior and Lord, He gives us a new nature. He gives us His nature. He also gives us a spirit of discipline and self-control, which is vital in allowing us to choose the ways of our new nature. He gives us a sound mind (see 2 Timothy 1:7), and that means we can think about things properly without being controlled by emotion. The way we once were passes away, and we have all the equipment we need for a brand-new way of behaving. God gives us the ability and offers to help us, but we are not puppets and God will not manipulate us. We must choose spirit over flesh and right over wrong. Our renewed spirits will then control our souls and bodies or, to say it another way, the inner person will control the outer person.

Without God’s help we have difficulty doing things in moderation. We frequently eat too much, spend too much money, have too much entertainment, and talk too much. We are excessive in our actions because we behave emotionally. And after the thing is done and cannot be undone, we regret doing it. But we can choose to form new habits, not doing something just because we feel like it, but instead doing what will produce the best result in the end.

We do not have to live in regret. God gives us His Spirit to enable us to make right and wise choices. He urges us, guides and leads us, but we still have to cast the deciding vote. If you have been casting the wrong vote, all you need to do is change your vote. Forming new habits will require making a decision to not do what you feel like doing unless it agrees with God’s will.

Trust in Him
God wants you to live out of your new nature, not your old one. Every time you put your trust in Him and cast the deciding vote to obey, His Spirit transforms you and makes you more like Him.

From the book Trusting God Day by Day by Joyce Meyer. Copyright © 2012 by Joyce Meyer. 

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coupons · dad · family · Review

Monday #Review of the @DollaShaveClub

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I wanted to give this time. Try it out before I wrote anything bad or good about it. 
The first day we got the shaver from @DollarShaveClub we were very excited couldn’t wait to try it out. 

It looked very appealing in the pictures, the website promotes

A GREAT SHAVE FOR A FEW BUCKS. No commitment. No fees. No BS.

As for me being a frugal stay at home mom I liked the idea of the price.

Yes, it’s cheaper than the other brands.
When you stop to think about it using coupons with other brands you can get it for the same price maybe even cheaper. Even though we realized that we still wanted to try it out.

The website is easy to choose and start getting what you are looking for as it states on the website.

HOW IT WORKS Dollar Shave Club couldn’t be simpler. Select one of our great blades, pay only for the cost of your blades, and we send ’em right to your door every month.

We selected to have the most expensive one $9 month +shipping because I thought

” Hey this will be perfect. The website describes the blades as follow.

THE FINAL FRONTIER THE EXECUTIVE $9 EVERY MONTH SHIPS FREE SELECT 6
stainless steel blade
4 cartridges per month
Special trimmer edge built in for the professional
This blade comes from the future and lives in outer space
Full 90-degree pivot head Wide-open back for a fast, easy rinse Aloe, Vitamin E, and lavender lubricating strip calms sensitive skin.
What do you get the bathroom sink that has everything? The Executive. This blade is my successful. Muy sexy. Weighty, substantial handle delivers the ultimate compliment to the man who understands. And the shave is so buttery, it feels like you’re carving turns through a virgin Wyoming snowfall.

It took about a week for the delivery, and we had our brand-new shavers and a free sample of the aftershave in our hands.

It’s a nice-looking shaver and the Special trimmer was cool.

So, my husband tested it first, he used the shaver 2x and had to move on to a new one.
I told him maybe it was because I used it once and he said ” well the one we get at the store lasts 3weeks before changing blades.

He tried using another one by himself, I never touched it (I promise LOL) again after 2 shaves the blades were dull and it looked horrible.

Yes, we got disappointed. I had so much expectation for this product, and it failed. 😦

Still haven’t decided what I want to do next, but since the one we got is the best they can offer I think we will need to cancel.

(I bought this product, and this is my honest opinion, don’t forget everyone is different and the product might work great for you. It didn’t for us, and this is why I’m doing my review.)
dad · family · fatherhood · kids · mom · motherhood

4 ways to have a Family Saturday

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We all have busy lives. Finding time today is almost impossible

If you’re like me, you feel like there’s still stuff to do at the end of the day. Tempted to keep your computer and phone on at all times. Fighting distractions in your brain even when with your family.

You need to have priorities. In the end, our family is all that matters, so don’t push your family to the bottom of your to-do list.
If you want a stronger marriage and family, start by investing more time.

https://twitter.com/4Guys_1Girl
Family Date Night

1. Remember that “Date Night” doesn’t have to happen at night

Look for ways to connect during the day.

2. Never walk into your house while you’re on your phone

I make sure to end the call before walking through the door.

3. Have set times where everybody is unplugged

Try to shut down the electronics more often. Talking with each other is always better than texting with somebody else!

https://twitter.com/4Guys_1Girl

4. Prioritize family time AND one-on-one time

Plan activities you can all do as a family, also plan for one-on-one time with each other and with each of your kids individually. That time will be golden for your kids.

https://twitter.com/4Guys_1Girl

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Boston Tour #MomsOnABudget

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Sunset - Boston 18th of March 2006

There are so many great things to do in Boston that are completely free!

  1. Boston Common, Free
  • Park Street Church, Free
  • King’s Chapel & King’s Chapel Burying Ground, Free
  • Benjamin Franklin Statue & Boston Latin School, Free
  • Granary Burying Ground, Free
  • Old Corner Bookstore, Free (Note: Currently being leased by Chipotle)
  • Site of Boston Massacre, Free
  • Massachusetts State House, Free State House Tours (Weekdays 10am-4pm)
  • Faneuil Hall, Free
  • Copp’s Hill Burying Ground, Free
  • Bunker Hill Monument, Free (Suggested Donation)
  • USS Constitution, Free tours every 30 minutes of the boat (The Museum has a suggested donation of $5 for Adults, $3 for Seniors, and $2 for Children, but any amount is appreciated). *You will need proper ID and go through a security check*
  • Old North Church, Freedom Trail Drop-In (Suggested Donation of $1 per person)

Take a Freedom Tour: 

There is always something happening here > Faneuil Hall Marketplace:  live street performers, restaurants, vendors, shops, and more. Free to explore and enjoy.

Boston Common, Public Garden & Swan Boats: Enjoy the Boston Common and the Public Garden.

Take a stroll at Castle Island: Castle Island is a 22-acre park and is a great place to walk, jog, roller-blade, sunbathe, and more. Castle Island is also home to Fort Independence, which gives free guided tour daily until 3:30pm.

Star-gaze at the Coit Observatory at Boston University: The observatory is open and free to the public every Wednesday night at 8:30pm in the spring and summer and 7:30pm in the fall and winter.

Tour The Boston Public Library: The Boston Public Library offers free art & architecture tours during particular times by volunteers.

Charles River Esplanade: Great way to spend a beautiful day; During summer months enjoy free movies and music at the DCR Hatch Shell.

History at the Massachusetts Historical Society:  library founded in 1791. Free to visit.

Get on the water at Fort Point Pier: The Fort Point Pier is free to the public.

Scenic stroll on the Haborwalk: Walk alongside the waterfront with the public walkway connecting the best of Boston Harbor.

Kismet at the MIT Museum

Free Museums in Boston

Visit the Institute of Contemporary Art on Thursday Nights: The ICA is free every Thursday night from 5-9pm and free for families (up to 2 adults accompanied by children 12 and under) on the last Saturday of every month (except December).

Discover the MIT Museum: Admission is free all day the last Sunday of every month from September to June and free the first weekend of every month for Bank of America cardholders for Museums on Us.

Closed on the following holidays in 2015:

  • January 1: New Year’s Day
  • May 25: Memorial Day
  • July 4: Independence Day
  • September 7: Labor Day
  • November 26: Thanksgiving
  • December 24 & 25: Christmas Eve & Christmas Day
  • December 31: 3 p.m. closing

Head to Cambridge and explore the Harvard Museum of Natural History and Peabody Museum of Archaeology and Ethnology: Massachusetts Residents can visit free with valid ID on Sunday mornings from 9am-12pm year-round or from 3-5pm on Wednesdays from September to May. Proof of residency required. This offer is not available to commercial groups.

Visit the Museum of Fine Arts on Wednesday Nights: Admission is voluntary on Wednesday nights after 4pm and certain days of the year. Also, Bank of America cardholders can receive free admission the first weekend of every month, part of the Museums on Us program. Youth 17 and under also receive free admission daily after 3pm, weekends, and public school holidays. Otherwise admission for youths is $10 adults $25

Explore the Commonwealth Museum for free, always: The history and treasures of Massachusetts and is free to visit and park.

Devotion · Family Share · kids · reeding · Review

Protecting Your #Child from • Soul Poison •  #Parenting 

EllyFilho1 Comment

Protecting Your Child from “Soul Poison”
There are some decent, even values-oriented things on television for children these days. But, as you know very well, there’s a lot of garbage, too. And in between those two extremes, there are shows that are mostly good but have some words scattered in them that little ears shouldn’t be hearing – or big ears, for that matter. Along comes a service called TV Guardian – which automatically replaces a naughty word with a nice word, thus removing what could be bad for your child. Occasionally, the replacements are actually a little amusing. Like the word “sex,” for example. The replacement word is “hugs.” Which gets a little interesting when someone asks, “So what will be the hugs of your baby?” But I do think TV Guardian is a pretty good idea.

Something like TV Guardian was invented for parents who realize a very important assignment that they have; to protect their children from anything that could harm them. Of course, a parent is going to protect their son or daughter from physical harm – like getting too close to the edge of a cliff or running onto the Interstate. But Mom and Dad have no less a responsibility for protecting their kids from things that can hurt their soul. And there’s a lot of soul poison out there.

There is a ten-word challenge that underscores where the front lines of the battle are for any life – including that of your children. Proverbs 4:23 begins with these attention-getting words, “Above all else…” Then these ten words – “Guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.” In other words, be careful about what gets into your heart – or into your child’s heart – because it is the reservoir from which everything else flows.

Yes, one front in the battle for a child’s pure heart is related to what they listen to and watch. It’s amazing how we will allow someone to portray right in our living room, on TV, DVD, or Netflix, things we would never, ever allow to be done in our living room – sexually, for example. We allow comedy into our home and into their heart that trivializes sin that ruins lives; not realizing that our kids are learning to laugh about things that are eternally serious. No matter what the parental peer pressure of what other parents are allowing and what the culture says is “must see” stuff, we’ve got to stand our ground on not allowing our kids to mentally eat out of the garbage can.

 
But guarding their heart is so much bigger than TV or movies or music. It’s about the poison that comes from us. The bitterness they’re learning by listening to us, the anger, the self-centeredness, the putdowns of other people, the names they hear us call people, the prejudice they hear in the way we talk about others, the disrespect they hear us expressing toward people at work, at church – or even toward their Mother or Father. That’s more deadly poison than anything the media can pump out. Our precious children need “Parent Guardian” – to protect them from the poison that they see modeled in living color by a Mom or Dad.

The DVR in your son’s or daughter’s heart is always recording. It’s always capturing what it hears, and the impressions are shaping who they’re becoming. You are the guardian, assigned to your child by God, to protect that young heart from poison and infection – even if (especially if) it’s coming from you.

Going Deeper

One undesirable trait I see in my child that reminds me of myself is… One thing I could do to help them and me grow in that area is…

“Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.”

Proverbs‬ ‭4:23‬ ‭NIV‬‬ Tweet: “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” Proverbs‬ ‭4:23‬ ‭NIV‬‬ - Via- @4Guys_1Girl

“I will sing of your love and justice; to you, Lord, I will sing praise. I will be careful to lead a blameless life— when will you come to me? I will conduct the affairs of my house with a blameless heart. I will not look with approval on anything that is vile. I hate what faithless people do; I will have no part in it. The perverse of heart shall be far from me; I will have nothing to do with what is evil. Whoever slanders their neighbor in secret, I will put to silence; whoever has haughty eyes and a proud heart, I will not tolerate. My eyes will be on the faithful in the land, that they may dwell with me; the one whose walk is blameless will minister to me. No one who practices deceit will dwell in my house; no one who speaks falsely will stand in my presence. Every morning I will put to silence all the wicked in the land; I will cut off every evildoer from the city of the Lord.”

‭‭Psalm‬ ‭101:1-8‬ ‭NIV‬‬

Study by Ron Hutchcraft