blackandwhite · family · kids · love · Niche · photography · Style · women · World VS Life

5 issues to be addressed in Premarital Counseling

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Planning your wedding is stressful enough, but it’s a piece of buttercream-frosted cake compared to the day-to-day reality of actual marriage.

Indeed, so often couples get caught up with everything involved in prepping for their Big Day and romanticizing the concept of marriage that they forget to (or don’t realize that they should) address all of the less-romantic issues that will inevitably arise when two people commit to sharing their lives together.

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Premarital counseling is an excellent way to confront these issues upfront and establish a stronger, healthier relationship moving into matrimony.

1. Money
Finances are a common cause of contention between those about to be married.

2. Time
Time can also be a big problem in a relationship. One may feel neglected if their partner is often away at work, school or other functions. Conversely, a partner may value their space and wish they could spend more time alone.

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3. In-Laws
When you marry someone, you’re not just marrying them – you’re essentially marrying their family as well. It’s important for you to learn how to get along with the whole family, especially if at this point you’re already on shaky ground. It’s also helpful to establish what sort of boundaries as a couple you will put in place. Some family members may be in the habit of just dropping by for a visit. This may upset your new partner. Also, it would be helpful to discuss how you plan to spend time with both sets of in-laws during holidays.

4. Resolving conflict
All couples disagree sometimes. What’s less important than the frequency of conflict (though frequent fighting is a serious issue that must be addressed, of course) is how a couple reacts to said engagements.

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5. Religion
Again, now is not the time to sweep lingering issues under the rug. Statistically, couples that share the same faith (or lack thereof) are more likely to stay together than those that don’t. If your partner is of a different faith, you need to decide whether this is something that will bother you long-term or not. This can be a critical issue.

Be sure to discuss these critical issues during premarital counseling. Ultimately, it all comes down to honesty and respect.

If you’re able to be honest with your partner and respect their traits and beliefs even when you don’t like or agree with them, and if your partner can do the same, then the future of your marriage looks bright.

 

dad · Devotion · family · Family Share · fatherhood · kids · love · mom · motherhood · teens · Wordless · World VS Life

5 tips on fighting fair with your teen

5 tips on fighting fair with your teen

Fights with your moody teenagers are inevitable, but here are a few things to remember when a battle breaks out.

  • Teenagers can be terrors, and battles are bound to break out. But not every argument has to be a free-for-all fight. It may seem fitting to make sure your little one knows who’s boss in your home, but it’s important to remember that your kids are still growing, and how you handle arguments with them will teach them how to handle arguments with others. You are a model for your son’s behavior, and you’re teaching your daughter what to expect from the world. So when frustrations rise and tensions boil over, remember this important advice about fights:
  • 1. Words hurt, and cannot be taken back

    You can’t un-ring a bell; and you can’t take back hurtful words you say to your child. You may instantly forget what is spewed in a fray, but the worse it was, the longer your child will remember. No matter how bad the conflict seems, your son or daughter needs to know you’ll still be there for him or her once the battle is over and the smoke has cleared. That bond and trust can easily be broken when he or she has to forget something terrible you’ve said to rebuild your relationship.

  • 2. Your child will remember things you forget

    It’s not just words you must be careful of in fights; your actions can also speak loudly. Acting aggressively toward your son or daughter – lunging, chasing, grabbing or raising a fist – is unnecessary. And needless to say, making contact in this manner is entirely inappropriate. If your teen loses control and attacks you, your job is to restrain and de-escalate — never to retaliate. Likewise, leaving your child in a fight, either at home or stranded somewhere, will leave him feeling abandoned. Be present and available, even in conflict. And see your fight through until its resolution.

  • 3. You are the adult, and you are in control

    Not of your son, but of yourself. He is growing into an independent person with a mind of his own, and no amount of punishment, rage or belittling is going to turn him into who or what you want him to be. He has to find that for himself. But the best way to encourage this is to show him how to be someone you would want him to be; especially in times of crisis.

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  • 4. You are a role model

    How you respond in times of stress says a lot about you and your parenting. Show your child how a mature adult responds to the world when things are not going your way. You may feel justified in blowing up and getting into a shouting match, but nothing gets heard or resolved over yelling. Make change at indoor volume.

  • 5. Yours is not the only valid opinion

    It may be time to sit back and actually listen to your teen’s point of view. Yes he may lie, and yes she may be manipulative, but somewhere deep down your teens are learning to navigate the world, and there is likely some structured and logical thinking. Acknowledge what actually makes sense, and build on that.

    Fights with your teens can be stepping stones into adulthood, so make sure you’re laying a good foundation. Teach your sons and daughters to resolve conflict and face an argument with good skills and goals so everyone comes out unscathed and no worse for wear.

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Georgia D. Lee seeks to empower, inspire, enrich and educate anyone with an open mind, heart and spirit through her most treasured medium – black and white!
Website: http://authorgeorgiadlee.weebly.com
Anxiety · Causes · Depressed · Health · Mental Health · mom · motherhood · women · Wordless · World VS Life

One year ago

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One year ago today I was feeling miserable not knowing what was wrong with me. Everything I ate, I wanted to put back out or it felt like it was stuck in my throat. I ended up like that laying on a hospital bed awaiting my doctors to begin my surgery. I was feeling miserable. I had been at that hospital for about 2 1/2 weeks just doing all kinds of tests till they finally found out what was wrong with me and decided to operate.

Turned out I had what it’s called ” Achalasia of the esophagus”  and what is that? You might be asking. That was the same question I was asking all the doctors there. ” What the heck is that?” As they started to explain to me what it was.

Achalasia is a rare disease of the muscle of the esophagus (swallowing tube). The term achalasia means “failure to relax” and refers to the inability of the lower esophageal sphincter (a ring of muscle situated between the lower esophagus and the stomach) to open and let food pass into the stomach.

What can cause the esophagus to close?
A thin area of narrowing in the lower esophagus can intermittently cause difficulty swallowing solid foods. Gastroesophageal reflux disease (GERD). Damage to esophageal tissues from stomach acid backing up into your esophagus can lead to spasm or scarring and narrowing of your lower esophagus. Eosinophilic esophagitis.
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What is the surgery for achalasia?
The most common surgical technique used to treat achalasia is called the Heller myotomy, in which the surgeon cuts the muscles at the end of the esophagus and at the top of the stomach. In the past, this surgery was performed through a large (open) incision in the chest or abdomen.
I didn’t think twice and said go ahead do it. All I knew was I was tired of living the way I was. I couldn’t handle it anymore.  So off I went to surgery.
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With all the support from my husband by my side, I was very confident I would survive another surgery, another battle, another obstacle in my life.
Not only him, but my boys too. My family has been my Rock. My everything in time of need.
I wouldn’t be able to go on without their help. I’m forever grateful.
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After my surgery when I thought things would finally be better and my life would turn around. I became depressed. Didn’t want to leave my room. My life was from my downstairs to my upstairs. I didn’t want to do anything. Not because of the way my life was or my family. I love my life and my family. But my sickness just kept on coming and never went away. This surgery was to make me feel better and nothing changed. I was angry. Angry at the doctors, at a lot of things.
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Then I decided to turn things around. I sought help ( professional )
Today I’m still very sick as far as my Achalasia, blood clotting disorder,  Fibromyalgia,etc..etc..
In between this one year, I changed my mind about being miserable and decided to live my life.
Regardless of how I feel, I will still live on. when I don’t want to get up, or do anything, I will still do it. Just because I need to do so.
I put my faith and hope in the Lord the only one who can give me my daily strength.
I’m not 100% but I try everyday to do better than I did yesterday. With God’s help I’ll slowly get to a point where I can at least cut down on medications. 🙂
Praying for a better tomorrow.
Thank you for reading.
Budget · budgetwithelly · coupon · coupons · family · food · free · frugal · fun · mom · motherhood · savings · women · World VS Life

How to coupon like a Boss

It’s been a while since I’ve been here. Not because I didn’t want to blog but because I haven’t had the time.

I’ve been sick, had a few visits to the ER and to my PC and it’s a pain when you are so busy and have to keep up with social media.

Sometimes I just need that space and time apart. I apologize to the followers, Friends, and family that comes here to read what I blog. It’s frustrating not having an updated blog. My sincere apologies.

The other reason is that my oldest son graduated high school and we had a party 🙂
What a Stress 😮 planning and organizing a party is so much stress.
My middle child graduates next year I promised I’m already planning and starting to buy things now hahhaha.

Plus every other mother/wife duty

In this post, I wanted to share some of my couponing with you guys.

I’m only a beginner and I’m just learning. Please keep this in mind. 🙂

When you’re a stay home mom and your husband is the only one working, you need to make due whatever way you can to help out.
I found out about couponing not too long ago when I saw the show on tv and I decided to give it a try. I follow a few lady’s on youtube and they post almost weekly what they go buy and the deals they  go out and do.

As far as best deals out there you have to  make your own judgment. Prices also veries based on region.
The deals and sales are absolutely amazing!
I’ve been saving hundreds of dollars with things we use at home every week.

I don’t do stream couponing, I don’t buy what we don’t use, and I don’t buy more quantity than we can consume in a short period of time. The reason why is.

1- Because I don’t want to have a huge stockpile.
2- I don’t see the need for me to do that. ( not criticizing anyone that does I’m just saying it’s not what I want to do. )
3- I’m fine the way I’m doing things now Thank You! 🙂

Some people will go out and buy 20 bags of sugar just because it was on sale for $1.89 and we had a $.75 off coupon on top of that.
I, on the other hand, I went out and only got 2. That was fine for me I had 2 at home and felt that 2 more bag was enough.

A lot of people think ” Well it’s on sale, great price,  why not buy 20? If you can spend that $Money and you want to. Go ahead and do it.
I’m just saying I don’t do it. 

It’s a choice many people make, and a lot are criticized just because they use coupons.
(  Not that’s anyone’s Busyness Anyways. What you do it’s your life. 🙂  )

Here are a few deals from this week

At this supermarket ( Shaws )  I got
6 boxes of General Mills Cereal
4 Boxes of Puffs Tissue paper
4Nut Exactly Snack

merchandise total was – $41.68
I paid a total of $8.05  after coupons and store discount

And I received a $5.00 store credit so basically I got it all for $3.05

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My second one was at CVS 

I LOVE CVS they always have great deals 
2 Xtra Laundry detergent
3 Persil Laundry detergent
2 Gillette Fusion razor
2 Haagen-Dazs Ice Cream
1 Hershey Snack Mix
4 Colgate toothbrushes
2 Colgate toothpaste

All this came out to Merchandise Total – $102.75

I paid $23.61 after Coupons and store discount

and received $26.00 Extrabucks ( CVS Money )

So basically I got it all FREE 🙂

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book · Challenge · family · mom · motherhood · review · women · Wordless · World VS Life

“Sure Foundation”

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“Sure Foundation”
Insecurity is probably the worst feeling in the world. It robs you of confidence, rest, and freedom. Just talking about the word floods my mind with so many memories. Being a little girl, afraid of the dark, peeking my eyes just above the covers to see if there really was a monster in my room. As a new kid at school, not knowing a soul, wondering if I would ever find a friend. Auditioning for a musical, nervous and afraid I would forget song lyrics. Picking an outfit for a date, hoping to impress and hold his interest. The day we purchased our first home, wondering if we were grown up enough to handle the responsibility. The way I felt the day we brought home our first baby and the overwhelming reality that we were responsible for his very life. Each of those moments all caused me to feel unsure, and creating a deep desire for something solid to stand on and keep me steady no matter what.

So often, I set my feet upon my circumstances. It’s easy to do because we naturally make agreements with what we can touch and see. For example: If our child has behavior problems in school, it would be easy to then label him a problem child or yourself a bad mom. If a dream falls apart, it would be natural to feel lost and lose sight of your identity. But we’re not called to live by human nature. We are called to walk by the Spirit, and in order to do that, we have to stand on a sure foundation. One that’s been tested and approved. One we know won’t ever be shaken by the quaking and shifting of life. If we stand on what we can see with human eyes, we will constantly shift with an ever changing world. That’s not a life anchored in Jesus. In fact, the bible calls that childish. We are called to grow up into Christ in all things. He is the security we are called to build our lives upon.

What are you standing on today? What are you building your life upon? When the world is afraid of the dark, hiding under the covers, you can be unshakable; shining like a beacon in the night. You can walk through uncertain days because He is your sure foundation.

So this is what the Sovereign Lordsays:  “See, I lay a stone in Zion, a tested stone,  a precious cornerstone for a sure foundation;  the one who relies on it  will never be stricken with panic.  Isaiah 28:16
Source A 6-day devotion
FitMom · food · frugal · Health · kids · mom · motherhood · Review · review

#Review ~ The all time Best BBQ Grill Brush 3 in 1

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~~3 Brushes In 1 Design -CLEAN MORE WITH EACH PASS and prevent grill flare ups you can use it with all Grill Types, Including Porcelain, Stainless Steel and Infrared -surface for even the largest grill.

~~It’s good to clean your grill after every use  Food remnants on your grill grate are unsafe and affect the taste of food. To prevent foodborne illness and grill flare ups, and to ensure that foods attain peak flavors, the grate should be cleaned between uses. The XNValue 3-in-1 Grill Brush gives you superior reach and cleaning surface for even the largest grill, and clean more with each pass.

Fast, effective cleaning of the entire grill grate  With its 18″ reinforced handle
cleaning the grill without accidental burns was a plus.

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Bristles are made of rustproof stainless steel. Really a restaurant quality product.
The ergonomic grip withstands arduous grill-cleaning without tiring your hand. When not in use, the brush hangs adjacent to your grill by its lanyard for easy retrieval.

When you buy the Grill Brush you will receive a free pair of stainless steel food tongs for grilling and other cooking endeavors. The tongs are smaller and not nearly as useful as the brush.

Looking forward to Our B-Q summers

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• includes 1 STAINLESS STEEL FOOD SERVING TONGS for grilling and other cooking endeavors
• 6 YEAR GUARANTEE -If the brush deteriorates under normal use, simply return it to them for replacement
• extra-wide brush head with its spiral-bound bristles lets you remove grease and debris from 360 degrees of each grate wire

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( I got this for free/discounted in exchange for an honest and unbiased review )

#bbqpromotion

Devotion · family · love · Lyrics · mom · motherhood · Poem · reeding · sunday devotion · women · Wordless · World VS Life

There are no perfect mothers, there are many great ones. #MothersDay

 

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BEST MOTHER’S DAY GIFT EVER 

 

Mothers are full of various traits that the adults and children of the world need. Often, mothers are nurturing, loving, kind, comforting and leaders. Mothers protect their children, or those close to them, from harm. Teaching either intentionally or by example is what mothers do best. The eyes of a child are always watching and observing and learning from the mothers around them. Every mother has a special blend of attributes that she can use to lead, guide and lift others.

No two mothers are alike

Moms have a tendency to compare themselves to seemingly “perfect” mothers and then proceed with negative self-talk about what a terrible mother they think they are. Stop it! The “seemingly perfect mom” has strengths, but she also has weaknesses. And you have weaknesses, but you also have many strengths that are perfect for your family or those you mother. Some moms have one child while others have several. Some homeschool and others use public schooling. Avoid the “mommy wars.” One is not better than the other; they are just different.

Mother’s Day is a day to be celebrated

Though we as moms may not like Mother’s Day all that much, the people in our lives want to show their love for us. Every day, moms selflessly cook, clean, nurture, lift, inspire and a myriad of other duties. Remember to enjoy and be grateful to those who want to celebrate YOU. Likewise, tell the women in your life how much they mean to you. There is nothing like witnessing the joy on the faces of a small child, a spouse or friends as they do something kind for you to show their love and appreciation. Be grateful and let them shower you with love this Mother’s Day.

Whether you are a mom with no children or many, an empty-nester or a new mother, a loving aunt or friend, Mother’s Day is for you. Your nurturing and caring ways qualify you as a mother. Mothering is a special gift designed to help and comfort others who need your strength. Regardless of how we mother, we are all doing our best with the circumstances and strengths we have. Though there are no perfect mothers, there are many great ones.

 

 

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MY BEST FRIEND, MY MOM

Mom’s smiles can brighten any moment,
Mom’s hugs put joy in all our days,
Mom’s love will stay with us forever
and touch our lives in precious ways…
The values you’ve taught,
the care you’ve given,
and the wonderful love you’ve shown,
have enriched my life
in more ways than I can count.
I Love you Mom!

 

Anxiety · Causes · Depressed · family · Lyrics · Mental Health · teens · Wordless · World VS Life

We adapt, we accept, but we never get over it!

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Today I grief the death of another childhood friend that passed this morning due to one of the most tragic cause of death this nation and generation has been facing. Something that’s been destroying our generation, drug overdose. This epidemic that you don’t see it’s a problem till it’s too late. Leaving us all with just the memory we all shared with her including her two beautiful children, E & D I know you guys will miss your mom forever. Her mom (G) Nothing will ever take this pain away. I hope God will comfort you. Comfort us all 😦 .
My heart is filled with sadness. We had so many talks and you told me so many times you could fight this. I know it was hard, I know you tried. May your soul now Rest In Peace. I will forever miss you. Miss the days we spent together since 5th grade. All those times at your house when your mom and your sister had to make us lunch after school. We had so much fun. After we grew up going out to eat and hanging out. It was always a pleasant time to be around you. Karaoke  night at the Chinese place all of us together was a night to remember. I will never forget. 😦

Lindsay’s death was a tragedy, it really has been a tragic waste, and like the bitter pill that’s hard to swallow, it leaves an awful after taste. So I hope this message gets home, and her death hasn’t been in vain, because I’d hate anybody else, to have to go through all this, all again. You only get one chance on this earth, and I hope that line stays in someone’s mind, because the very real tragedy, is what happens to those that get left behind.

In Memory

We have all lost someone that we love today 

One that we all wish

was never taken from us this way

But God thought it was their time to leave

Ans now this is the moment 

For us their friends and family to grieve

We keep asking ourselves why 

Why do the good die young?

Why don’t we ever get a warning 

To when our day will come?

We were all just having birthdays and having so much fun

Tell us why you had to take them 

I mean our lives have just begun

It hurts so much to think

That they are no longer here 

When we keep seeing their face 

Through each falling tear 

Now knowing that their memory will never disappear

Although we keep pleading that this tragic ordeal 

Is anything but real

We are demanding the pain we feel

Of our hearts breaking and tearing from the seams

To somehow just be one heart rendering bad dream

Though as we awaken and realize it is not

We can remember the good times we had with them 

And forget about the times we all fought

There for please cherish all the memories

And never forget their laugh

Because we all have a piece of them within us

And that is how the love they had 

For everyone will forever last

We hope that you knew 

How many people truly cared about you

And that in your passing you have taught us

That we should always stand tall

And that we have to try to make the best of it all

Hopefully, through this tragedy, we all will wake up & see

That life can be short and taken from us so easily

You all truly will be missed by so many

We are grateful for knowing you 

And lucky to have been part of your lives

We know that Heaven’s gates

Have been opened up for you

The Angel’s have given you your wings

So that you all may watch over us

And push us so we may strive to do better things

A poem by Elizabeth Mooney

This song is in your memory… Every time I hear it it will remind me of you 😦
You will forever be missed. Love always Your Friend.

family · Wordless

Happy 17th Birthday to My Son ❤️

 

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Turning another year older, but in my heart, you will always be my little boy. I am so proud of the man you have become. I wish you continued success in the year ahead.

I wish you strength to face life’s challenges;
Knowledge to achieve your desired successes;
Hope to get back up when life knocks you down;
Good family and friends to share your accomplishments with;
New adventures to greet you at every turn;
And love to fill your heart so big there is no room for negativity.

Know that I will always be by your side to support you, love you, and cheer you on.  May this day, and all the days before you be filled with joy, peace, and prosperity.

❤️ I love you, mom ❤️

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Anxiety · Causes · Depressed · family · Family Share · Health · kids · Mental Health · mom · motherhood · photography · reeding · teens · women · World VS Life

6 things you should never say to someone with depression

6 things you should never say to someone with depression

Chances are, you know someone struggling with depression. If you want to help instead of hurt, avoid these six common mistakes.

  • 1. “Get over it”

    Depression is a serious matter that is not always easily dealt with. Getting professional treatment in a number of modalities, including prescription medication, therapy and even alternative treatments can help, but saying this won’t make anything better.

  • 2. “It’s not that bad”

    You don’t know how bad it is to them. The event that triggered the depression may not seem significant on the surface, but depression could be doing major damage on the inside once it has taken root. Try not to undermine or minimize how someone feels if you can’t understand what she’s going through.

  • 3. “You’re weak”

    Illness is not weakness. And projecting an ableist attitude onto someone who is suffering shows a lack of compassion and understanding that only makes you appear weak in character. Although a person may feel weak due to his ailment, calling him so will not give him strength.

  • 4. “Stop whining”

    Shaming a person with a psychological disorder is cruel and can cause further damage. Yes, constantly reinforcing the feelings he wants to rid himself of seems illogical and can be irritating, but it comes from a feeling of helplessness. As humans, we tend to express what we feel the most. If he were happy, he would be expressing that instead.

  • 5. “I got over it”

    What works for you will not work for everyone. Another’s experience with depression or its inciting events may be quite different from yours. Everyone has his own predispositions, chemical makeup and personal history, making for a unique treatment and healing plan. Plus, getting over something doesn’t mean you got through it. You may have put something behind you, but if it’s not entirely resolved, it could resurface and rear its ugly head again.

  • 6. “You’ll be fine”

    Be careful using these words. It can appear dismissive, uncaring or cold if said in the wrong way. Keep eye contact, smile kindly, and if you are close enough with the person, reach out and give him a warm hug and firm pat on the shoulder or back when saying this. If you believe he will get through this, let him know you mean it.

     

    Remember to keep your feelings about life and all of its ups and downs in perspective when addressing someone with depression. Even if you see a simple solution, a depressed person may see hopelessness and nothing in her future. Keep communication open and the bonds strong in your spiritual and biological family. This is the time your loved one needs you the most.

Georgia D. Lee seeks to empower, inspire, enrich and educate anyone with an open mind, heart and spirit through her most treasured medium – black and white!
Website: http://authorgeorgiadlee.weebly.com