PTS D A Spouse’s Perspective How to Survive in A World of PTSD
By Erica David
Published by West Bow Press
Has PTSD invaded your world?
Are you always walking on eggshells? Feel like nothing you do is right? Are you the victim of physical, emotional, or verbal abuse? Are you in a relationship with someone who suffers from PTSD? Then this book is a must-read for you. There is hope!
What is PTSD? It’s the aftermath of a traumatic event that happens during a person’s life no matter their age. The effect PTSD has on a family is very complicated why not say it’s very sad. I believe it affects everyone not only the person that has the PTSD but the spouse, their children, and anyone else that is around that person.
In this book, the author tells her story, about her family, and how her husband came home from war and was a different man. After all that must have happened there, he had some difficult issues that took her some time to understand because he wouldn’t talk about it, like most people with PTSD. Him being like that made her depressed, and a secondary PTSD from her marriage. Not only that but she also suffered some childhood trauma that also caused her to have PTSD. So, the book goes on to explain what PTSD is – It explains in detail the traumatic event that happens during her life. Even though the cause of PTSD can be when you’re a child you can still suffer as an adult. Some people never realize the impact that the event has on them until they start counseling sessions. When the therapist asks about the event, they have to recall all the traumatic events back. For some sleep is unpleasant, and a lot of people have panic attacks. In every chapter of the book, she gives you an answer and teaches you how to deal with some key points. I guess I expected a little more I don’t know if it’s because I suffer from PTSD and wanted more details for myself and she’s more on the ” Veteran Spouse ” side of the story. But overall, I liked her book, and I would recommend it.
There is a quote in the book that I related to it, and I would like to quote it.
Why does life have to hurt so bad? I am tired of the pain that is deep inside that I think I have learned to cope with only to have it mutate and return again. The people I hold dear don’t truly understand how I feel. They can’t. No one knows what I feel inside but me. The loneliness, the despair, the lack of accomplishment, the low self-esteem. if you have been successful there is no way you can understand my pain of rejection. Knowing that I am capable, but no one will give me a chance. One look at my resume says it all.
For 20 years, I devoted myself to my husband and my kids. Now I feel like I have nothing. Nothing but a persistent pain that keeps me from moving forward. But I don’t have anything to move forward to. Somewhere I lost myself, and I don’t know how to relate to this person that I have become. One minute I am fine and the next minute I am a bucket of tears. The seemingly happy moments are only a masquerade to cover the pain.
I keep treading water trying to stay afloat. But I am slowly sinking. Not able to decide what is best for me. Not wanting to make the wrong decision. I am indecisive. Wish I could live both lives to see which one I like better. Unfortunately, life doesn’t work that way. You live with the choices you make. Good or bad. I am someone who can be lonely in a crowded room. I sit quietly listening, thinking, but never contributing to the conversation. After all, what I have to say probably isn’t important or eventually, someone else will say what I was thinking. So why bother. Just stay in my own world. Nobody notices anyway.
What is peace? Is peace ever possible? I only wish I knew. I thought of suicide, but I don’t want to leave that scar on my children’s hearts for the remainder of their lives. I can’t even die in peace. Just please take the pain away. Let me find PEACE.
That is a killer quote/poem she wrote there it was so deep I was left speechless. To me, it was so me beside the suicide part. Having PTSD Sucks and although some people might think there’s a cure for it, I believe there isn’t. Unless you’ve ” Suffered from it ” don’t judge. That’s what I have to say 🙂
The reason why I say that is because You Might be able to FORGIVE but forgetting the past is something completely different and difficult to do trust me … Have a Blessed Day!!!!